No Crying Over Spilled Milk

Did you follow me?

2009-11-09T21:02:00.000-08:00

Did you follow me over to Our Three Bean Circus? I hope so! I'll be deactivating this blog address soon so make sure to follow me over there.

Wondering where I've been?

2009-10-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

Have you been wondering where I've been?

I've been over HERE .

At my new blog site.

So head on over and read up on what you've been missing.

Follow me at my new location!

Follow me over to read "He went there"

2009-10-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

Follow me over to my NEW BLOG to read the latest post "He went there." Don't forget to click the Google Follow widget so you can follow me at the new site.

Not Me Monday and a NEW Location

2009-10-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

Guess what.

I finally did it.

I am moving to a NEW location.

Still on Blogger, but an address and blog title that I feel is a better reflection of me and my family, which I mostly blog about.

There is a NOT ME over there. And let me tell you, it's a good one. So click on over, follow me on the new blog, bookmark me, add me to your feedburner or reader. I'll update this blog for a bit with my new post titles and a link to the new blog.

See you over there!

Lucky in Love

2009-10-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

Bean and I celebrated 8 years of marriage this week. I had all sorts of ideas for a creative, fabulous post honoring this event. But let's be honest, I'm a busy working mom of three small children. The pieces just never came together. So here's my heart and thoughts.

8 years of marriage

3 children, ages 5 and younger.

3 major job changes for each of us--with of course some side jobs thrown in there

5 different homes

1 truck, traded for 1 CRV, traded for 1 minivan (bless Bean for driving the Saturn that I brought into our marriage)

These are some of the huge milestones we've been through together. Each with their ups and downs. But together is the key. When we are in the midst of difficulty, we often say to each other "there is no other person I'd rather go through this with." And it's so true.

We still look at each other in amazement that we're married. Bean's brother was one of my close friends growing up. We knew of each other, but never hung out or even really talked. Until I moved back home after college. I remember the first time I "officially" approached Bean. I had been asked to lead worship for our church college group, and I had remembered seeing him play guitar a few times. So I asked if he wanted to be on the worship team. I'm not great at that kind of thing--making that kind of request--but I'm SO glad I did :) Now he is my guitarist for life. People used to tease me and Bean's brother about dating--but I like to think I got the better brother! Better for me that is :) His brother and I would have killed each other, although I still consider him one of my close friends. And his wife is perfect for him.

I love our marriage. Thankfully it's been one of the "easy" things in life. Certainly we have our ups and downs--which usually is due to failure to communicate, but most of the time being married to Bean is the best thing in my life (also because he gave me those three beautiful babies). Our favorite time of the day is when we can finally get in our comfy bed, cuddle and sleep (although we both sleep best lying back to back...but our feet almost always touch). I find it romantic that Bean checks my Twitter feed every day, even though he doesn't have an account himself. He just likes to see what I'm saying about my day.

Sometime in the last year I heard the song "Lucky in Love" for the first time. Ever since then, it's stuck with me as being so true for Bean and I. I have been lucky in love, and am lucky that my love is my best friend.

I love you Bean! You are my best friend and I look forward to what the next years have to offer us.

(you know it's love when I post a photo of us at HIS beloved Bronco stadium when I am a die-hard Charger fan)

2 in 2 = 2 (and again??)

2009-10-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

No I'm not pregnant. Yes this post is about pregnancy, and dental care. Did I scare you?

I've been avoiding the dentist for months now. My gums always suffer in pregnancy. I could find a link to share that it's common, but you'll just have to google it.

Finding myself knocked up unexpectedly last year, threw my dental care off course. I had a dental appointment scheduled long before I knew another little Bean was nestled inside of me. So when I told them of my recent findings, x-rays were out. I was asked to come in a few weeks before my due date, for a slightly early cleaning.

Yeah, I went into labor the day before my appointment. And then I delivered the day of my appointment. My dentist is almost completely computer run (which is so cool--my xrays show up instantly on a screen in front of me) and I saw in the patient notes "patient cancelled less than 24hrs, in labor".

Getting to the dentist after Lily was born, was NOT a high priority. Nor was flossing. If the baby was asleep, and housework was done, I wanted to be in bed as quickly as possible.

I FINALLY made it to the dentist last week. (the 3rd appointment scheduled in 2wks was the charm)

I had NO cavities until college (even though my first dental visit was at age 12). Poor quality food and probably too much Diet Coke contributed to a few cavities.

I haven't had any since college.

Until now. I guess two babies in two years means a cavity for each of them. My babies are just that sweet.

I have a few other problem areas. That can be taken care of with flossing. So I really need to make that a daily habit again. Along with lots of other areas of self-care that have been neglected.

Oh, and would you say a prayer for Miss Rose tomorrow? She is a magnet for oral trauma. She had a tooth pulled at 2.5yrs due to trauma. After a soccer tangle 1.5 wks ago, her remaining top middle tooth is still a bit loose and the gum looks a little questionable to me. I really don't want her to have a tooth pulled AGAIN. She has yet to loose her first tooth, so I know we are at least several months from those top permanent teeth coming in.

And have you ever heard of 6yr molars? Miss Rose has some back teeth coming in. Our almost 7-yr old neighbor (who's pretty bright) said she got 6-yr molars last year. I thought Miss Rose was just intelligent and getting her wisdom teeth already. I need to google 6-yr molars. Or maybe you can do it for me.

There will come a day

2009-10-04T21:54:00.001-07:00

There will come a day, that I'll be able to volunteer in my child's classroom.

Right now, I feel guilty every time a paper is sent home requesting parent help. Being a working mom, with two other small children, it's just not possible. Either I'm at work...or it would mean alternate childcare for the little ones on a day when I'd rather be with them. No one makes me feel guilty and I'm sure anyone would understand, and I'm confident I'm not the only one in this position. But I do wish I could add that to my list of Supermom abilities.

There will come a day that I will be able to do the extra homework and fill the reading lists with my child. Right now, we're lucky to just complete the basic homework and read several books a week...instead of each night. And I even feel guilty that on my work days, I need Miss Rose to complete her homework before I get home--because it's just another piece of craziness added to dinner, baths, bedtime routines, lunch making, house cleaning and clingy babies.

There will come a day that my house will be organized and feel like a home. Admittedly, I am a packrat. I save things just in case. I like to file important paperwork and tax documents, even though most things would probably be available electronically or on request. But I need to change those habits. There is no space for such clutter in our house. Things need to put put away, right away. Everything needs a place, because there is no extra space. We're still in that process though. And it's driving me crazy. We now have three functional bedrooms. So we are a few steps closer. We're here for a long time, so I will figure it out, right?

There will come a day when Bean and I will not need to make a complicated schematic just to get us through the week of work, school, soccer, family obligations, hopefully some exercise and family time.

There will come a day, when I will look fondly on these days. The days my children were young, messy and sticky. The days when they needed me, 24/7. The days when nothing went according to plan, and we just laughed our way through it. The days when our faith and trust in God were stretched, and grew. The days when we were seeking God and letting him lead us in the formation of our family and life.

There will come a day.

Kit Kat anyone?

2009-09-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

Remember the song...gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar?

I actually don't care for Kit Kat candy bars.

But I do need a break.

And by break, I don't mean BREAKING MY PHONE, which I did today.

Yes, my iPhone. Which doesn't come with insurance. Which according to my research online tonight, costs a lot to replace.

I feel like an idiot. A failure. I was just trying to put it back into my purse after taking a call. And somehow it slipped out of my hand, but not into my purse. Whatever angle it hit, although in a case, cracked the screen. Amazingly, the phone itself works. There is just a spider web through the screen.

I've already decided that if I have to replace it, this will be the only replacement I purchase. After that, it's back to a normal phone. No matter how much I love the iPhone. I lead a busy, active life and when I get frazzled, I lose and break things. It's just a fact.

I need a break. Not an actual one. I just need a break from stress and stressful situations. I need a break from the fast pace of life. From the problems of life.

Let's be realistic though, problems and stress are a part of life. In fact, I'm pretty confident that God is using this stuff to mold me and to create something new in my life. But it hurts. And it's not pretty. And sometimes I'm rather resistant. I see glimpses of what he wants to do. But I'm afraid of the pain of actually experiencing the emotions that should be attached. I'd rather not cry, you know....no crying over spilled milk.

Just when I think I've reached my breaking point (today was one of those days and the phone was the last straw) I get a bit of a repreive. I have the opportunity to take a few steps back from that meltdown, that panic attack. Whether it's time with friends, or my hubby encouraging me to attend an Israel & New Breed concert (tonight) God pulls me back from my breaking point.

I welcome the day when I feel like I'm miles away from a breaking point. In the meantime, I'm welcoming what God's doing in my life. Even though it's not easy. I know it's worth it. And he's in control. And he has a plan. And he is FOR ME.

If I were to write this blog

2009-09-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

I'm in the mood to blog. But I don't really have the mental energy to actually develop an entire post. I'm halfway through my "out of the house work-week" (because we all know a mom's job is 24/7).

If I did have the mental energy, these are the things I might to choose to blog about.

How LONG it takes to go through the evening routine with three children. There has GOT to be a better way to do it. It's time to experiment with different homework and reading times. It does not all fit after dinner.

How I've decided to accept that my Kindergartener just isn't ready to be dropped off to line up for class. And even though my neighbors are willing to share the drop-off duties, for now they will get to benefit from my daughter's need for me, and I'll take their 2nd grader to school too (they DO pick Miss Rose up a few times a week when possible).

How I made today the first "bring your baby to work day" in several weeks and how sweet it was that Lily seemed so excited to be with me all day and somehow she seemed to know it was out of ordinary.

How I tired of my daughter not listening to me and I don't like being a parent who yells, or repeats, or has to speak sternly. But I just don't know how to change this behavior. Even when I discipline or give consequences, nothing seems to change.

How I'm learning to accept that it's going to be years before I can properly train for a race. But I love having something to work towards, so even though I can't follow a training routine, or log the necessary miles, I will still "race" and just be happy to complete my 13-miles.

How I've been disciplining myself to get up earlier in the mornings, even if just 15 minutes. I remember growing up that my mom always rose 30-60 minutes before us, and I never understood it. Now I do. Even though she didn't leave the house to work, that was her "me" time and quiet and peaceful. I love to sleep, but sacrificing 15-30min makes the mornings go much smoother. And at some point, when Lily has a consistent morning schedule, maybe I can exercise again before work.

How Miss Rose is a magnet for oral trauma. I'm concerned she'll end up with all fake front teeth at some point. Thus far the damage has only been to her baby teeth, but the past does not bode well for the future. She put a front tooth through her lip in soccer this weekend, also loosening this already injured tooth. I'm just hoping the tooth heals completely, because I really don't want to go through another extraction with her.

See, I actually have quite a bit to write about. Those could make for some interesting posts. But they will probably never be developed.

But I know, it won't always be like this. And the highlights of my days are seeing my baby smile, having my toddler climb all over me the moment I sit on the couch or ground and conversating with Miss Rose.

The blog will have to wait. My energy goes towards providing for my family and loving my family. And that's the way it should be.

Have you worn your baby today?

2009-09-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

It's Babywearing week. Have you worn your baby today?

I like to think it's the latest fashion. Or at least it covers up the fact that most of my clothes are NOT in fashion. (that's what happens when you have 2 babies in 2 years, but I'll save that topic for another day.) This is much cuter than most of the clothes I own!

I discovered babywearing with my 2nd baby. I was excited to find a sling at a resale store and thought it was worth trying. Gracie loved the pouch sling. I wore her so much. Around the house, at my office when she was young enough to come to work with me, at 2am when that's the only way she would sleep, all around Ireland.

Lily loves to be worn too, although she prefers more of an upright position. Hence the Beco you see above. It was my birthday present this year. Yes, my birthday present was in fact something for my baby. And it was the best gift!

Lily loves the Beco. She is so calm and peaceful when in it. The two days a week I am home to pick Miss Rose up from school, I have to wake Gracie from her nap right before we leave. She is usually still groggy and not quite ready to walk to the classroom. So I push Gracie in the stroller and wear Lily in the Beco. We are quite a site I'm sure. But I have two happy babies, and that's what matters!

I was excited to get to introduce my sister in law to the wonders of the sling this week. Her 4th baby is just a few weeks old, and she still has her hands full with a 20-month old. Once the babe was in the sling she slept quite peacefully, and my sister in law could wrangle her little man-cub.

I love checking out Adventures in Babywearing to see all the lovely babywearing photos and posts. I get a lot of sling envy!

There are so many babywearing options. Every baby and mama will have different needs, but if you have a baby or are expecting one--find a babywearing plan that works for you. You'll love the closeness of your baby and the ease at which you are able to navigate the things of life.

I like Gracie would still love to be worn! I just may give the Beco a try with her on my back.

When my babies are done being worn, I'm going to have to borrow some other ones!

Check out my post last year on Babywearing. I wish I had more photos of me wearing Lily, but there usually isn't another adult around!

Perfecting Her Art

2009-09-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

Babies get fussy. They meltdown. They can't communicate their needs, except through crying. Sometimes a lot of crying.

Toddlers throw tantrums. They are becoming independant and learning how to express themselves. With their newly found autonomy, when they don't get their way, they let you know how unhappy they are.

Five-year-olds, Kindergarteners, they are seasoned pros at life, compared to babies and toddlers. They have the vocabulary, the self-control. They can express themselves pretty well.

Out of these three children, one would expect the major meltdowns to come from the youngers.

Not in my house though. It's my 5-yr-old, who is actually closer to 6 now, that is perfecting the art of the tantrum. Tonight was one for the books. She DOES NOT like when life doesn't go her way. And she'll let you know.

Perhaps some of the failure is ours, for giving in too often, changing our minds to let her have her way, once the protesting and crying begins.

But, this kid, she throws a good fit. Especially when she's tired. Thursdays are often tough because Miss Rose goes to bed at least an hour late on Wednesday night due to church. And this Thursday, she was up before 6:30am because it was "Dads and Donuts Day" at school, which ran from 7-7:30am. One tired girl.

It began when I went to nurse the baby, in my room, to provide her with some quiet before bed. Miss Rose and Gracie were coloring, so Bean started the dishes.

Coloring didn't last long. Guess where they ended up? On the bed with me, of course. The light wasn't on. And I think something went on with Gracie bringing a stool in to climb on the bed (which she doesn't need) but she tripped and fell in the dark, hitting her head.

And thus began the downhill plummet. Miss Rose wanted to make her lunch with me (to ensure I gave her the treat she wanted). But Gracie was still crying and Bean was still furiously doing the dishes.

I said no, let's read your nightly books instead.

No, we can't read that long one. Okay, let's just read one book. You're not going to stop crying, you're throwing a fit that we're not making your lunch and we're only reading one book?

Okay, then it's time for bed. I'll brush your teeth while you cry. You still can't stop crying in your bed? I guess that means we can't do our normal nighttime routine. Your sister will have to sleep in another room, as you continue to carry on.

(Mind you, when you're 5.5 and you cry, you yell about the unfairness of life and are quite dramatic about it)

15 min later and you're still carrying on? I'll rub your back. Night-night sweetheart. 10 min later, you're STILL upset? Okay, I'll put your sister back in her bed. Just PLEASE go to sleep.

I sincerely hope, her younger sisters aren't learning from her.

(Oh, and Bean, the next time the meltdown begins, maybe save the dishes for AFTER the kids are in bed. Just an idea. But, thank you for the clean kitchen.)

Decisions....

2009-09-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Can you tell my blog is under construction a bit? I've been wanting to change it up some, and have it reflect a little more of me and my family.

I'm sure I'm over-analyzing things.

I am playing with the idea of changing the title of my blog, but leaving the address the same.

Or do I want to change the title and the address.

Or just leave it alone.

I don't cry much...that's true...hence "no crying mama" and along with that comes the "no crying over spilled milk" title.

The new title/address I'm considering is "Our Three Bean Circus" which definately reflects our family.

Any thoughts? I know it's really not a big deal. But I guess I'm pretending that it is.

Not Me! Monday

2009-09-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I've been a parent for almost 6 years now, and three children later, I know the unexpected happens. When you least expect it of course. So, I am always well-prepared.

When Gracie urinated in her underware in front of Miss Rose's Kindergarten classroom one morning, I did NOT have to strip her down and wrap her in a blanket for the ride home. Not me! I always have wipes and extra clothes on hand. And that accident certainly did NOT happen because I probably neglected to have her use the bathroom right before we left.

Later that evening, after vomiting carrots all over her clothes at church, we did NOT have to drive home from church with Lily wrapped in a blanket. I always have extra clothes for her as well.

That tally is NOT 2/3 children riding home wrapped in blankets in the same day.

While flying solo at Miss Rose's soccer game this weekend, I did NOT put off taking Gracie to the bathroom again, because she has NOT made it her personal mission to visit every bathroom possible, mostly for false alarms.

When Gracie told me she had poop in her underware, I did NOT grab a stinky diaper bag from the diaper bag, scoop out the lump of poop (which was thankfully hard) and pull her pants back up. I did NOT neglect to wipe her up because I did NOT forget to put fresh wipes in the diaper bag.

I'll be right back. Need to stock the diaper bag, like I do, oh several times a day. Miss Preparation, that's me.

Perspective, Attitude & Reaction

2009-09-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

My last post had a bit more negativity than I like to leave. Granted, it was honest, but while I have my breaking moments, most the moments are more positive.

I'm learning. It's a proccess. I guess in some ways I feel like I'm a real grown-up now, and figuring out this thing called life. I have three children, one in school now, own a home and am in a vocation. There's going to be lots of ups and downs. Lots of stress and problems to face. Many blessings and much joy too. Jesus said, "in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."

Here's what I'm learning.

It's a lot about perspective. Sure there are times life is challenging and I could list many things that I don't like or seem unfair. But I'm not the only one. We all have different difficulties to own.

I may face the challenges of being a working mom to three young children. I have two sister-in-laws who are blessed to stay home with their children. But one has a husband who works 24-48hr shifts, so is alone during that time. The other has a husband who owns his own business, works long hours and 6 days a week.

Which makes me thankful that after a long day of work and running kids to and fro, Bean is home all evening and we are able to share those duties together. I saw this quote on Facebook the other day: "Whenever I get an idyllic view of someone else's life, I will often say out loud, "I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad."

Those words could not be more true. You can't compare one life to another. The Psalmist said "the boundary lines for me have been set in pleasant places." Which to me means--the life I have, is the life God intended for me, both the good and the challenging. It's not for me to look beyond what he has given me, at this moment. Because you never know how things may change in the future either.

Perspective also says, I HAVE children. So many ache for children, but don't have them. My children are HEALTHY, and there are many sick children in this world.

It's also about my attitude. No, it's not always great. Some days I want to give up. Some days I want to break down. Some days I'm short with my children, with my husband because of the stress I feel. But I choose my attitude. I've learned what it takes (most of the time) to adjust my attitude. Perhaps I need to go for a run, or even a walk around the block with the kids changes my attitude. I need to forget worrying about cleaning and the household duties, get on the floor and play with the kids. I need to make quality time with my husband (even if its just watching a movie after the kids are in bed) a priority. These attitude-fixers are huge for me.

And my reaction. Oh that reaction. When life throws me a curveball, I want to pick it up and lob it right back in someone else's face. I want to be immature and throw a fit like my kids do. But that's not Christlike. Nor does it really help the situation.

I bite my tongue. I tell Bean how I'm feeling to process it, but of course it's a conversation that stays between us. I remind myself of God's promises and how they've held true my entire life.

Basically, in some ways, I don't react. Most of the time, things work themselves out--and often it doesn't even take that long. If I were to react according to my flesh, it would make situations bigger than necessary and cause damamge.

I'm sure I'll need to come back and read this soon, to remind myself of these truths, when the next curveball comes or when the day in and day out routines are overwhelming me.

Another quote I saw on Facebook recently (I have some friends who post great stuff!) said "fear takes a lot more work than faith." I would add--with fear, circumstances consume you; with faith--you just let go.

So I choose to let go. I choose to rejoice. I choose to be anxious about nothing. I know this won't be the last time.

At the end of the craziest day, full of "what ifs" and "I wish" and "It's not fair"...I still love my life, I love my children, I love my husband. God has been so good to me.

The Lord of the Dance

2009-09-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

Can I be honest for a few moments?

It's not that I'm opposed to honesty. In fact, I try to be an honest person with high integrity. I really dislike telling untruths--even "white lies."

But I'm a bottle-er. Hence the "no crying mama" moniker. I don't try to avoid crying, I just don't. Rarely. I have a hard time being honest when things are challenging. I don't lie...I just don't talk about it. When there are several days of silence on my blog, it's usually because I'm going through a difficult time.

So, the honest truth is...

It's hard being a working mom of three young kids. I have an amazing job that affords me many family perks and flexibility. But, it's still hard. I'm exhausted by the end of a workday. Being a pastor requires emotional energy. Being a mom and wife requires emotional energy.

I'm thrilled Miss Rose is in Kindergarten, but that also means leaving at 7:30am--having all of my work things ready, the little girls ready to go wherever they are going that day and of course Miss Rose's lunch, snack, papers etc. It feels like no matter how much prep I do the night before, no matter how early I get up, we are still rushing out of the house. And I still have to go back in at least once for a forgotten item. Last week I had to return home after dropping off Miss Rose because I had left my breastpump at home.

Bean is an amazing help. He gets Miss Rose up and dressed before he leaves for work. And often Gracie is demanding her "prilly dress" bright and early, so she's dressed too. He always asks me how he can help before he leaves. But he can't change when the baby poops or projectile vomits before we leave. Or when Gracie has an accident outside the classroom while waiting to say goodbye to Miss Rose.

We are blessed to have family caring for the little girls on my work days. But that is an ever-changing flux. We are once again changing up the plan, which means finding a new normal and routine for each day. The new plan SHOULD last for an extended period of time, but you just never know. Sometimes they are at our house, sometimes elsewhere. For some reason, the uncertainity of it all is hard on me.

Want to hear how my Wednesday went this week?

Arrived to drop Miss Rose off. Gracie had an accident in front of the classroom, so I had to go tell the office. When I returned, Miss Rose was in tears because her teacher hadn't opened the classroom yet. Stripped Gracie down nude, wrapped her bottom half in a blanket I had in the car and drove home where I was dropping them back with my mom.

Got Gracie cleaned up and dressed. Left for work. There was a whole coordination going on of my sister in law coming over with her kids, my mom getting Miss Rose from school for a short time, so all the kids could put their handprints in the newly poured cement for the almost complete addition. I wasn't involved in that--but it still weighed on me during work, hoping it was easy for all involved and that Miss Rose got back in time for her first visit to the library.

Wednesday is Miss Rose's half day and it's not an easy feat carting the little girls to school. So I left work and picked her up and brought her home to my mom. Lily was fussy and her nap schedule was off, and the moment she saw me, she just wanted comfort. So I nursed her and put her to bed. Back to work.

Home at the end of the day, nurse the baby, head off to Rubio's for dinner before church. Church, home and finally bed for kids and soon after for me.

Did I mention that I have a cold this week and I was full of sinus pressure and a headache? Or that there is massive construction related stuff going on right now? Or that I almost flashed construction workers because we don't have curtains on all the windows in the back and I wasn't fully dressed yet? Lovely. Just lovely.

I'm realizing more and more how much predictability and stability keep me centered.

Some days, many days, life feels like a complicated walz that I'll never learn the moves to.

Just when I think I've learned the choreography, it changes.

I know that I am not the only one with these kinds of struggles. I'm sure if I talked with many of my mom-friends, they'll have similar stories to tell. It's just life. It's life with small children.

I still love my life. I love my children and I even love their closeness in age. I'm not complaining. Honestly, I'm not.

In fact, I'm learning to rejoice no matter what. To be anxious for nothing. To remember that even when the snapshots of my life don't make sense or are full of craziness, the panorama that God sees, is perfect in his eyes.

Life is a dance. And unfortunately, I've not got much rhythm. Just ask my friends! But I'm trying to learn. To go with the flow. To trust the Lord I dance with. To let him take the lead and just follow. Because I know that my life is beautiful. Even if sometimes it's a beautiful mess.

Lackadaisical

2009-09-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

I admit, I had to look up the spelling of that word. But it's a good word, no? Defined as without interest, vigor or determination.

For some reason, this word personifies my children when it comes to the development of gross motor skills.

When I had just one child, I figured sitting at 8 months old, crawling at 10 months and not walking until 15 months was because she was an amazon baby--24lbs at 1 year old. Perhaps it was just hard to move her solid little body.

Then I had another child. Who was on a decidedly different growth curve, weighing a mere 18lbs at 1 year old. Certainly since she as a slight thing, she'd be able to move more quickly. But no, Gracie took cues from her big sister apparently and her gross motor skills developed at very similar ages to Miss Rose.

This time around, I know what to expect. And that's not much!

My children just lack determination to move themselves around. I have no idea why this is. I don't think that I hold them or carry them around more than other mama's tote their little ones. They have as much "floor time" as they will tolerate.

Do other mama's "work with" their babies more to help them achieve these milestones? Maybe that's my downfall, I just let them do it on their own time and don't push the point. I doubt this is the case though. I know many busy mom's who's babies get moving much sooner that mine and I really don't think they had time to work with them on it more than average.

Our neighbors have a little boy just a few weeks younger than Lily. They are of a similar size. This little guy was majorly motivated to get moving. He has two big sisters just like Lily does (almost identical ages as ours too). By 5 months old he was rolling himself around their house, and propping himself up on his arm and elbow in a reclining position before he was even able to sit up. He's probably 7 months old now (Lily is 7.5months ) and he is fully crawling--and fast!

And Lily? She rarely even decides to roll from her back to her belly. When I put her on her belly, she might try to play for a few minutes but usually she just sticks her fingers in her mouth and lays her head down to suck them. She's finally sitting for longer periods of time--in the Boppy. No way is she sitting on her own.

I know not to worry though. Have you ever met an averagely developed 2yr old who isn't walking? Probably not. I know Lily will eventually sit and crawl and walk, just like her sisters. Just on her own timeline.

Right now--I'm anxious for her to sit on her own, as she'll be happier to play that way. But honestly, I've learned to not mind that my kids aren't mobile quickly. It makes things easier! I don't have to worry yet about her crawling around the house, getting into stuff that isn't safe, being run over by her sisters. It will all come in time.

But I still do wonder why all three of my daughters are so lackadaisical as babies.

(and I always thought the word was lackSadaisical. But I guess not. Learn something new every day)

Oh the drama

2009-09-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

Gracie is quite dramatic. Just for the sake of being dramatic. She's currently experimenting with expressing various emotions, that usually aren't applicable to the situation, but she likes them nonetheless. A few days ago, while I sat at Miss Rose's soccer practice, Gracie kept running up to me, hitting me on the arm and saying "I promise" in a very stern voice. That's one of her favorite tones these days, which I'm working on. I have no idea where that phrase came from.

This is a common pose Gracie strikes when she is trying to get attention or doesn't like something or wants to pout. She hunches her shoulders, purses her lips and will walk around like this for a few minutes. I actually find it very humorous.

And then when she does something wrong or is trying to avoid obeying, she buries her face in the corner of a couch.

Did I mention she wants to wear a "pri-lly" (pretty) dress every day? She's usually awake by 6:30 and it's one of the first things she asks for--along with "milky." This is one of her favorite dresses (which I think is adorable). I'm ready for the weather to cool though because a lot of the dresses are getting short and I want to add leggings to them.

She's a firecracker this one is!

First day

2009-09-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

Miss Rose had her first day of Kindergarten on Tuesday. She's been excited about it for quite a while now. It was nice that she was in an early-kindergarten program from January-June, as it really prepared her for what to expect from going to school and the separation from us.

I wanted to capture the three girls on Miss Rose's first day. Notice the look in Gracie's eyes. She's jacked her sister's water bottle and is momentarily getting away with it. I think Bean must have combed her hair the night before...hence the very low part and comb-over look.

A proud dad and his daughter

I can't believe she was the first baby carried by my body. Notice how she is MORE than half my height now? (and I even have small heels on in this photo)

Her teacher's name is Mrs. Mahoney. To which Bean immediately said (because he's a nickname guy): "I think I'll get a shirt made for open house that says 'Mrs. Mahoney is Mah-Homey.' " Poor Miss Rose was confused the first two days as to whether her name was Mahoney or Mahomey. I told Bean he had to chill with the Mah-Homey comments. Although it was quite clever and funny. We also found out that our nephew had Mrs. Mahoney as his kindergarten teacher 6 years ago.

If you follow my Twitter, you may have seen that on the 2nd day of school, Miss Rose was already running a tab at the cafeteria. Both of us didn't quite understand the minimum day schedule. So Miss Rose took it upon herself to get lunch from the cafeteria (even though she was being dismissed at 12:15) and they let her get it on credit. Bean and I had a lot of good laughs from that one.

There were few tears shed the first day upon separation (by all three of us I think) but every morning since has been smooth! Today was my first day not working with Miss Rose in school and I celebrated by going for a run with the double stroller, not needing to worry about Miss Rose on a bike. I'm going to enjoy the one-on-one time I will have with Gracie while Lily naps in the morning.

I realized this morning, that there still is SO much more to come of life and child-rearing. It's only just begun.

She loves, my love

2009-09-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

This is her lovey. She doesn't take a binky, but oh how she loves this small satin-y red blanket.

When she was just a few months old I noticed how she loved to caress blankets, especially to soothe herself.

Just to feed my obsession of all things red for this little girl, my recent prize included this lovey. The perfect size to make this mama feel safe with it in the bed, and for toting in the diaper bag and car.

When sleepy-time comes, as soon as this blanket is close to her face, her fingers go in her mouth and her body begins to relax.

I probably should look into purchasing a few more, in case this one gets lost.

I do hope this remains her soothing mechanism of choice. Because if she refuses the binky, she needs SOMETHING.

It's just another sweet thing, that makes her my Lily. Determined to be a little different, yet the same.

She's my lovey. Adding her to our lives has been a bit different, yet the same.
She brings me comfort and security. She fills parts of my soul.
She's the perfect size for toting everywhere. I can't stand to be without her.
She's one of a kind and I will never lose her.

She loves and she's my love.

Gracie has a twin

2009-09-08T10:18:00.000-07:00

Have you seen Gracie's twin at your local Old Navy?

I wonder if they saw a picture of my sweet girl and thought she'd make a cute mannequin.

Or perhaps I need to get my kid into modeling, if this is what companies are looking for.

Gracie found her twin at the front of the Old Navy store and was instantly smitten. Hugging her and caressing her face (as you can see by the gentle cupping of the neck).

Personally, I think Gracie is cuter. But I'm biased of course.

Hey Old Navy, anytime you want to borrow my daughter, let me know! Her college fund could use a boost.

Sharing the Love

2009-09-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

I love that the exersaucer Lily is currently using is borrowed from my dear friend, and has been used by her three girls, my three girls, and a few other babies in between.

I love that I bought a fabulous cradle swing on craigslist for half-price (that was practically brand new) for Gracie and then my same friend used it for her daughter a year later, then back to me for Lily and now to another family.

I'm glad that when Miss Rose received some clothes, I was able to pull out a few horse-themed items for her friend who loves horses.

I'm blessed that thanks to her big sister, her friend Avery and other friends too, that Gracie honestly has more clothes than she will probably be able to wear before she grows out of them.

I love that when I recieved a LARGE bag of items for Gracie, which contained two and three sets of the same clothing items, I was able to pass the uneeded items to our neighbor, who has a daughter the same age.

I'm thrilled that I have a new niece, and so Lily's clothes can go to a family member. As will some of her baby gear as she grows out of it.

How do you share the love? What do you have in your garage, or closet that can be a blessing to another? Sure, I save the special items and some stuff I lend out, asking that it be returned. But it is such a blessing to me to be able to use someone's loved item or clothing and I look for how I can bless in return.

Share the love.

Shopping with a 3-ring circus

2009-09-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

Today Bean and I decided to pack up the whole family and head out to get the few clothes and shoes Miss Rose needed for school. Certainly one of us could have stayed home with the little ones, but what fun is that? When we have the opportunity, I like going out as family and teaching the kids how to handle themselves and behave in public.

But, you know it was a 3-ring circus.

Starting with the van ride. Miss Rose has a booster seat that is in the car at times, especially when we have had someone else with us. Gracie wanted to ride next to Miss Rose, so we buckled her into Miss Rose's carseat. Of course they had toys back there, that they immediately began to fight over.

We had to drop something by Grammie's house first, at which point I put Gracie back in her carseat, which is on a different bench in the van.

Then Bean decided he was going to need a McDonald's Diet Coke if he was going to last the trip. So we shared one! Yes, we often drive through McD's just for an 86cent large beverage. It's how we roll.

The first store was a bust. The second store had much more to offer. But Miss Rose detests shopping and getting her to try on clothes is the equivalent to wrestling a bear. While I coached Miss Rose through the trying on of clothes (my Kindergartener wears a SIZE 7 in girls), Bean watched Gracie run around clothing racks while bopping to the music. By then Lily decided she was done waiting around and was in Bean's arms and the stroller simply served as a great place to hold our purchases.

For Miss Rose, choosing tshirts is as bad as eating brussel sprouts, and slightly painful for us too. She is still obsessed with all things boy, which eliminates many options. Finally we found a few tshirts, in her size, that were designed for a girl, but satisfactory for her. Like this one.

Shopping with a potty-trained 2yr old means many bathroom trips. The first was suggested by me, while Bean waited in line. Of course Gracie has to touch every nasty thing in the bathroom, no matter how many times I say "don't touch the trashcan, don't touch the floor."

While I made our purchases, the girls were dying to visit the mannequin display they saw when we entered the store. And Gracie found her new best friend.

Seriously, did they use my child as a model? Bean said Gracie started hugging on the mannequin and caressing her face. She was quite enraptured. You can even see in the photo how her hand is cupping the neck. We couldn't stop laughing!

Finally bag in hand, we headed out in search of shoes. Lucky for us, we found some a few stores down. 10 minutes in, Gracie has to go the bathroom again. So I run her to the nearest bathroom. When do kids learn to pee and poop at the same time? We often make multiple trips to the bathroom because the coordination just isn't there yet.

Miss Rose was thrilled with her classic Vans. Although now we really need to teach her to tie her shoes.

Gracie like the shoe store for the full length mirrors it offered. She was caught dancing and shaking her booty (a recent favorite activity and phrase of hers) in the mirror. When I tried to snap a photo of it, this is what I caught her doing.

My exhibitionist daughter.

Clothes and shoes in hand, we made our exit before any major meltdowns or catastrophes occured. At one point Bean looked at me and said "I love this, it's hilarious." And it was.

I highly recommend shopping with a 3-ring circus.

Winners & Tidbits

2009-09-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

And the winner of my recent giveaway is....MomBrose! (I went to random.org for an automatically generated number.) You get to try the Vanilla soap from Ecostore USA! Enjoy your no nasty chemicals soap.

So many tidbits--that could actually be entire blog topics--but no time to develop them!

I am in the midst of a blessed 5-day mommy-cation! That's my own word--meaning I have 5 days off to focus on mommy and home related stuff. Like cleaning and organizing as always. And getting Miss Rose ready for Kindergarten.

I realized today that this is the last Friday that Miss Rose will have before she's a student. From here on out, any other Friday she is out of school will either be because it's a vacation or summertime. We are more than ready for school to begin. Miss Rose is so full of energy and wants constant interaction and activity to use that energy. Being that she's already 5-1/2, it's time for full days of school! She's quite excited and not nervous at all.

We had some excitement in our family this week with the birth of a new niece! Bean's brother and wife welcomed their fourth child. Their hands are quite full with a middle-schooler, kindergartener, 19-month old and newborn. Thankfully we live near each other and are able to help each other out quite a bit. I've decided that perhaps one NEVER stops wanting more babies. Although my sweet, still quite young, 7-month old was home with Bean, as I cuddled this precious newborn, I could easily imagine adding to our family. I'm glad there's always new babies in our family!

Gracie is experiencing a bit of the terrible 2's. She likes to be contrary just for the sake of it. She yells and does whatever it takes to get the attention she wants. Gracie loves watching movies! Miss Rose wasn't really into movies until she was closer to 4yrs old. The current favorites (so thankful for DVR!) are Chicken Little. Cars and Finding Nemo. Every morning when she wakes up she says "Maybe Chicken Little?" or whatever the choice of the day is. (Ususally she doesn't watch the entire movie, I promise.)

Finally, Lily is eating solids. Basically she just didn't like cereal. We skipped it and went to veggies and she's eating like a champ. Not quite pooping like a champ though. But prunes helped us through that issue. Poor Bean bore the brunt of that when the prunes kicked in on a day he was with the girls.

We've also had success with sleeping longer at night. Getting Lily out of our room was real key for that. (Read: pack and play in the living room). I notice that she sometimes wakes during the night, but usually just fusses and goes back to sleep. Sometimes she sleeps until it's a reasonable wake-up hour. Other mornings she takes an early nursing and goes back to sleep for a while. Either way--I'm getting more sleep, and that's wonderful!

We are SO close to being done with construction. In fact, the 3rd bedroom is finally ready for use. We can't do things the easy way and will be moving everyone to a new room. Hopefully by the end of the long weekend Lily will be sleeping in a crib for the first time, in her own bedroom; the changing table will no longer be in the living room, and everyone will be set. The 2nd bathroom has a little further to go...but I'm thrilled with the use of the bedroom. By the end of the month my parents should be moving in to the addition.

Hopefully I'll get a few more blogs done during my mommy-cation. Because blogging is one of my outlets and I definately enjoy it!

Homemade in Red

2009-08-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

Brace yourself for a photo blitz!

My sweet little Lily is 7 months old! I can't believe how fast this year is going by. It's probably that way with most 3rd and beyond children. I tell myself to cherish the moments as much as I can knowing I may not experience a new baby again.

Last week I had some professional photos taken that I have at work waiting to scan, I just haven't had time yet. I was pleased with how they came out. Want a preview? Here she is in the same dress after church on Sunday.

Check out the length of her tongue.

But, sometimes the best photo sessions are homemade. Certainly they are cheap! And someday, if I ever learn photoshop, I'll have fun editing the home shoots I've done with my kids.

So, I present

Miss Lily Cate

a study in Red

(homemade headband bow to boot!)

Her favorite lovey,

Which usually results in this, as soon as she's laid down. I'm hoping it will be her comfort item since she won't take a binky anymore.

These baby blues melt me

Oh, how I love this baby girl in red.

Dear Binky

2009-08-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Binky,

You have been a staple in our lives. A most treasured item. By these parents and our children alike. You have provided comfort and calm. You were there in sickness and in teething and in health, until about 2yrs old, did we part.

"don't you dare take this out of my mouth"

Miss Rose loved your green Soothie version. As she got older, we'd put two of you in her bed at night, just in case one fell out. By 6 months old, you mostly a sleepytime item.

comfort with Mama in Mexico

Then the fateful day came, when it was time to bid fare-thee-well. For some reason, this mama thought your absence would be solidified if Miss Rose dropped you in the trash herself. In retrospect, perhaps a bit traumaitc. And perhaps why it took a few days and many minutes of crying for her to adjust. But she did.

With the arrival of Gracie, we welcomed you back into our home with open arms. She chose one of your Playtex variety. It was a beneficial relationship.

trying out the soothie at 3 months with mama in Ireland

slinging with the binky

Especially when the new baby arrived and Gracie was a bit confused. There were many times we told her to fetch you from her bed, and sit on the couch to calm down. And then again it was time. Postponed several months by many changes. We took a different approach and told Miss Gracie what a big girl she would be. Shock of all shocks, she took your absence so well. Not a tear was shed.

Earlier this year when Lily was born, I expected your steady presence once again. In five years so much changes and we had the pink and purple versions of the Soothie and even the Gumdrop. Once again we used blankets and burp clothes to prop you in her sweet mouth. She readily accepted you.

Until that day. That Lily found her fingers. First it was her thumb. Playing traitor to you. Lulling her to sleep. Then it was her two middle fingers. Still is actually. Providing comfort. Just like you did.

those fingers

slinging with mama

And now weeks later, versions of you are found throughout the house, collecting dust. Growing brittle from lack of use. And it's me who's having a hard time letting go. I've accepted that this is the end of our journey with you. But yet I don't want to separate. There are no promises that those middle fingers will comfort for as long as you would. That when Lily is making noise in a place we need quiet, getting her to suck her fingers is not as easy as popping you in her mouth.

Dear Binky, we've loved you and cherished you. We've searched high, but mostly low, under couches and beds for you. But I think this is the end. It's time to gather you up and perhaps give you to another family, where you are more welcome.

Thank you for your faithfulness to us. For being there when we needed you. I'm surprised and saddened that this goodbye comes so soon. I had hoped we had a few years left. But eventually this day would have come.

We'll always have fond memories.

Love,
The Bean Family

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

2009-08-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

We recently took the two older girls to their first real baseball game. Both Bean and I are sports fans and enjoy a good ballgame. We went last year and sat on the grass, but the game is watched on a large screen from there. This year we decided it was time to get some regular seats and our church purchased a large block of tickets so it was a great opportunity. Being there with many friends made the experience even more fun for the girls.

I realized it was the first time, since Lily's birth, that we purposefully did a fun activity with Miss Rose and Gracie, leaving Lily with a babysitter. It was a good experience and probably something we need to do every now and then until Lily is older. Oh and the man-to-man defense was so much easier too!

Bean & I had fun, and our team won!!

Gracie loved cheering for the team. Although sometimes she yelled out a football team name, but most of the time she got it right. Miss Rose said her favorite part of the night was Gracie's cheers.

Can you find Miss Rose in this photo? A friend took it and emailed it to me when she saw Miss Rose. Rock on!!

Miss Rose loved the fireworks after the game.

Gracie did not.

All in all, we had a BLAST! I can't wait until Lily is around 2 and we can all enjoy a game together.

Not My Children!

2009-08-23T22:30:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week it's the "Not My Child" edition.

And may I remind you, you can't make this stuff up!

Yesterday while celebrating a special occasion at a friend's home, my children were invited to swim in the pool, which also has a slide.

It was not my risk-taker of a 2yr old who decided to walk down ALL the stairs into the pool, chasing after a toy, without any floaties. She did not begin to go under the water, causing me to walk right into the pool after her, in my clothes, wetting myself to the hips, to pluck her out of danger and place her back into safety, just as she was going under for the second time.

Nor was it my other risk-taker of a 5yr old who decided to go down the rather steep slide on her knees, not five minutes after the stair incident and promptly hit her head on the end of it. Hard. Hard enough to be heard by those around.

It was not this same daughter who wore the same clothes two days in a row after spending the night at Grammie's house. She did not play outside with cousins the first day and then wear the clothes to church and a school BBQ the next day. Not my child. She is very amenable to the decisions I make for her, such as what clothes I pack in her bag.

And now for my favorite moment that couldn't have happened this week...

My 2yr old is not talented enough to shoot a stream of urine right onto her father's crotch, as he lifted her from the toilet to see if she was actually going. Apparently she was. This was not at a baseball game, where Bean had to return to his seat, looking like he had urinated on himself.

Not my children, friends. They practice pool safety, wear clean clothes every day and would never urinate on a parent. No way.

Don't forget...I'm having my first (albeit, small) giveaway. You have until Thursday to enter by posting a comment here.

Good for you and the environment: My first giveaway!

2009-08-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I started becoming more aware of the ingredients of many products and foods and how they were unecessary to the true function of the product and how they are potentially dangerous to our bodies and the environment.

In some ways it began when I read the book Curly Girl sometime in 2006. (A GREAT book if you or your kids have curly hair). I learned that many chemicals in the hair products I was using were actually harmful to my hair and didn't help control the curl and actually created frizz. I was really surprised to learn that the sulfates, the main ingredient in most soaps and shampoos that make the "sud" is actually quite drying.

I've since tried to purchase shampoo's and body cleansers that are soap-free. They clean just the same. Both Miss Rose and Gracie had bad eczema on their bodies as babies. By around 18 months, they seemed to grow out of it. I've been using soap-free wash on Lily from the time she was born and so far--no eczema. It's hard to say what the factors are, but I can't help but wonder if not using sulfates on her skin (and only getting 2-3 baths a week) play a part.

I am trying to make the jump to mineral makeup. I just need to find the right brand and color to go with my skin. I've had to make one return and am actually going out tonight to pick something else up so that I can wear some sort of foundation to church tomorrow!

Ecostore USA has products that not only are GOOD for our skin and safe cleaners for the home, but they are also GREEN! I love that their company tagline is "no nasty chemicals." They have baby and body products, hair products, household cleaners and pet care. I'll have to remember that when Bean comes through with his "dog for Christmas" promise to the girls.

I'm currently using the Natural Citrus Spray Cleaner. It definately has a more pleasant odor than your normal all-purpose cleaning sprays. It's great to know there is nothing harmful that can be inhaled by my little girls. And I am totally comfortable having Miss Rose do some cleaning herself.

Guess what, for leaving a comment here, you can win the Vanilla Soap, great to cleanse your body, even if you have sensitive skin. I've inhaled the scent through the box, and I think you will smell so yummy after using it.

Leave a comment with what item you would most like to try from eco STORE or share your own tips for being more green or less harmful products for your family. One comment per person please and I'll choose a winner after noon (pacific time) on Thursday!

Thanks eco STORE USA for the opportunity to try your products and for being my first giveaway!

When all else fails...

2009-08-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

I enjoy blogging quite a bit. But I've found when I'm facing challenges or discouragement in life, it takes more energy to blog them. I'm much better at bottling. Although I am working on it. I have a couple topics in mind, but haven't been able to flesh them out yet.

Lest you think I'm neglecting my blog here are a few photos! When all else fails, photos will always do.

I believe Gracie is destined for the runway, what with this hair. Certainly this is post-nap, but regardless, it's FABULOUS! And I caught a little attitude to match the hair here!

My favorite Lily-smile. She tries to smile so big and with so much gusto that the right side of her mouth often slants down like this--thus the cutest crooked smile you've ever seen. It's so sweet and I hope it's something she doesn't grow out of. (Notice also, our progress with sitting! She's getting there)

I know many of my photo posts are Gracie or Lily, mostly because Miss Rose will rarely pose for me--and the little ones are still at my mercy! But here is a collage I made for our computer desktop. Miss Rose is getting great at holding and sometimes picking up her baby sister. She is quite anxious to be a help, and most of the time she truly is. And then there's my little girls in their brown and pink polka dots. That I had these coordinating outfits was a coincidence, but of course I had to take advantage of it for church recently.

I have my first giveaway I need to blog this weekend. I was actually approached by a company because of my blog or twitter I guess, to try some of their product and give something away. Stay tuned!!

I have a little scwape

2009-08-16T14:11:00.001-07:00

Gracie is at the age of clumsiness. I think all toddlers go through this clumsy stage. And some of us never grow out of it.

A few weeks ago Gracie fell on the sidewalk in front of our house and skinned her knee. She re-opened the scrape a few times of course. It's now been just a scar for a few weeks, but she keeps telling people about her "little scwape."

Yesterday, while chasing a lizard at Grammie's house, the law of equal opportunity of the knee was exercised, and she fell and skinned the other knee.

For some reason, scraped knees mean poor sleep for Gracie. She cries out a lot, and when we check on her, she complains about her knee. With the first skinned knee, this happened for several nights and meant bad sleep for us!

So last night, when I heard her crying for the second time (which Bean told me this afternoon was the fourth time) I just brought her into our bed. It was only 1am, so I knew we were in for a long night of it. She slept better with us of course, but as all two-year-olds are, she's a little bedhog and Bean and I woke up a lot.

I never knew a "little scwape" as Gracie calls it, could cause such sleep disruption.

I'm just thankful that so far Gracie's clumsiness has not resulted in major catasstrophe.

Like when Miss Rose fell at age 2, while playing with a ball. And one of her front teeth was chipped and shoved up into the gums. Which later abscessed and needed to be pulled.

I'm so used to seeing her with the missing tooth now, almost 4 years later, that I forget what happened. She keeps asking me when a new tooth will grow in--which will hopefully be within the next year or two.

In other sleeping news, Lily is doing better in that area. Last week she slept 10 hours all on her own. Proving to me that it's possible and she's more than capable! We're moving her to a pack-n-play in the living room when we go to bed. Since I often need to pump at night to keep up with her bottles for when I work, I can't do a dream feed. But if she wakes up before 8 hours since her last feed, I'm just leaving her--and she only cries a bit and goes back to sleep. We're making progress!! In another week or two, I'll probably increase it to 9 hours if she doesn't do it on her own.

Lily has absolutely NO love for cereal. Yes, she's approaching 7 months old, and not really eating any solids. This week we may try cereal mixed with a puree or perhaps some mashed avocado.

Wish me sleep tonight! I will admit, there still is something sweet about cuddly children in my bed, even if it means less quality sleep for me.

How to survive the beach with small children, in 28 easy steps

2009-08-14T15:32:00.000-07:00

1. Decide, why not. It will be crazy, but let's join friends at the beach.
2. Make sure friends are going. Because you can't supervise everyone on your own.
3. Bring another child. Because 3 definately isn't enough and what's one more?
4. Let kids watch more TV than normal in the morning while you prepare to go to the beach. Between all the "mommy I need's" and preparation, it will take a few hours.
5. Pack light. The kids can share one towel. You don't need a chair, because you won't sit down at all. Germs? Who cares! We can all share one water bottle.
6. Stop at the gas station to pick up the food/beverage items you didn't have at home. You can park right in front, and leave the kids in the van, just like would do if you were getting gas.
7. Try a new freeway combo to get to the beach, and go the wrong direction, even though you've lived in the same city for over twenty years.
8. Unload children and belongings. Throw baby in the sling, and pile the stroller with your stuff.
9. Once you get to the sand, pull the umbrella stroller behind you. MUCH easier than trying to push it through sand.
10. Field 5,345 requests while trying to nurse the baby
11. Get baby to fall asleep in stroller so you can frolick with the toddler in the water.
12. Try not to cringe at how sandy all food gets before it makes it to the toddler's mouth.
13. Cringe again as the loudest Navy jets you've ever heard fly over because you're next to a Naval Air Station.
14. Bury head in hands as baby wakes up screaming due to loud jets.
15. Decide to leave early because "Baby Interuppted" won't be consoled by anything.
16. Feel thankful that you have friends to help clean up sandy children and hold fussy babies while you prepare to leave.
17. Secure screaming baby in sling, begin trek back across the sand and to the car.
18. Decide against showering children off. It will give hubby a reason to use the new Shop Vac.
19. Load sandy children in the car. Remove now sleeping baby from sling, waking her as you secure her in the carseat.
20. Be thankful for the DVD player to entertain tired sandy children on the drive home.
21. Drop off extra children
22. Arrive home. Make sure no one sits on the couch. Leave baby in the infant seat.
23. Quickly shower the toddler and put her down for a nap, while baby cries in the infant seat, and sandy 5yr old watches Disney.
24. Nurse sandy baby. Decide to put sandy baby down for a nap and bathe her later.
25. Get 5yr old cleaned up. Realize as you are brushing her hair out, it's still full of sand. Be thankful it's dark hair, so no one can really see it.
26. Finally shower yourself. Resist urge to climb into bed and nap the rest of the day,
27. Feel grateful you live in a great city with great beaches and that your kids had a fabulous time. Even though you still have all the stuff to clean up.
28. Plan to lather, rinse, repeat all these steps next Friday with the same bat-friends, at the same bat-beach.

Babywearing Bliss

2009-08-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

I love this photo.

The closeness of my baby to my heart, thanks to my Peanut Shell.

The pure contentment on her face.

The blueness of her eyes against the blue of her onsie.

The characteristic sucking of her middle fingers.

I wish we could stay like this forever.

Not Me

2009-08-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I have not been using a small Dora brush from the 99cent store on my children daily because I've yet to replace a broken hairbrush.

I do not regularly postpone bathing my children, knowing they are going in the pool or the beach or sprinklers the following day and will definately require a bath after that.

I was not laughing like crazy the other night when I was trying to help Gracie potty, when Miss Rose slipped in the shower and almost fell out of the tub, and then Gracie was urinating as I was pulling her panties down. I did not say "sweet Jesus" only to hear Gracie mimic me.

It's not me who's been waking twice a night again, with a baby, who doesn't want to sleep more than an 4-5hr stretch.

And it's not my 6.5 month old baby, who still isn't eating solids because every attempt at cereal has resulted in vomit.

We eat healthy around these parts, and avoid fast food. So, if you're wondering you did NOT see me this past Saturday, in the Target food court, feeding my children hot dogs and icee's for lunch which I munched on an Italian sausage. Most certainly not.

Overachiever

2009-08-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time putting just one toe in the water. If I'm going to put a toe in, why not the whole foot? And if the foot, why not the leg and you know how it goes. Before you know it, I'm completely wet.

What's funny is this analogy doesn't really apply to me getting into a pool. But it pretty much applies to the rest of my life. I like to warm up to a pool. But if I'm reading a book--I want to read the whole thing without stopping. If I take up a hobby, I want to go all the way with it.

I do wish I had this characteristic when it comes to housecleaning and chores. Those apparently, I will only do half-way.

A few years ago I never really understood MySpace or Facebook and I don't think I knew what a blog was. Was Twitter even in existence then? I have no idea how long it's been around.

Then I gave in to MySpace in order to connect to students in my ministry. Not long after I dove headfirst into Facebook. It was much more my style---very streamlined without backgrounds and moving images on MySpace which give me a headache. I've reconnected with SO many friends from my childhood, high school, college and youth group days.

Then it was bloggging, and now Twitter. I have these aspirations of creativity and offering useful information. I'm afraid I annoy my IRL friends who read my Tweets because they quickly became more geared towards the mommy bloggers and Tweeps.

But then I remember, I have a family and home to care for. I have a job and people to minister to. These are just my hobbies. And they don't they pay!!!

But of course, when I see this giveaway being advertised, I can't help but enter. A new blog design (because I am very ignorant in this area) would definately feed my current fascination with blogging!

Firecracker

2009-08-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

(wearing a bathrobe I wore as a child. Don't mind the mess in the background.)

Have I mentioned how Gracie is our little firecracker? Maybe it's her role as the middle child. Maybe it's just her personality. Maybe it's having Miss Rose as a big sister. Probably it's all of the above!

Her language has just taken off since her 2nd birthday. Listening to her communicate these days, it's hard to believe that she's the same little girl who had some difficulty adjusting to a new baby in the house and didn't have the vocabulary to express herself and would just get angry and yell and hit.

She's funny. And she knows it. Gracie loves to talk in different vocal tones and accents, adding to the hilarity. She does funny things with her mouth, with make her words come out differently. It's hard to explain, but it cracks Bean and I up all the time. Even Miss Rose laughs.

(Did I mention she LOVES pasta?)

Some of my favorite phrases these days include...

"right now" she loves adding this to many requests and demands

"your Lily" said whenever she wants me to notice Lily

"there's your Lily all this time" I'm not sure why she adds all this time, but she does it frequently

"why mama" this one just started. such fun.

"stop it right now"

"nooooo"

Words she adds a -y on the end such as milky, buggy, dressy etc.

Every morning begins with "I wear prettly dress" (not a typo...she says it with an L)

"Can we watch a moooovie?"

"Can we go home?" I think she uses this phrase when she is bored. And she has been known to use it when we are home.

"My hair is CRAZY."

Gracie thinks that our contractors (who are also friends and fellow church members) are either going to live in the addition or that they already do. She often greets them with a "hi Tooony" which makes her sound like she's from New York or something.

Whenever she hears a funny sound she said "who's that mama?" A few days ago she made an involuntary noise while having a bowel movement and wanted to know who made the noise.

Oh, and she fell in LOVE with this little Dean Martin singing statue a few weeks ago. She couldn't stop hugging him and singing into his little microphone. This is was at a family members home and you can see that she likes to collect her favorite toys at other people's houses. No matter where we are, if they have toys she will find Barney, Backyardigans, Mickey and Minnie and whatever else is her current favorite.

This little one keeps us on our toes and in stitches too!

Hectic & Harried

2009-08-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

Those are the words I would use to describe life these days.

I'm STILL trying to nail down a routine, weekly schedule for household chores.

Such as laundry. So that it doesn't sit on my loveseat for a week. Or in the laundry basket.

Such as tub cleaning. So that I don't cringe at the built-up ring around the tub when I put my baby in.

Current circumstances dicate a change in babysitting location...which means extra driving. Add in VBS this week for Miss Rose. Even more driving.

The closer our addition nears to completion...the more anxious and impatient I get. How does it work that way? I'm ready for the baby to have her own room, and to hopefully wean her off the middle of the night comfort nurse back to sleep. I'm ready to be able to read in bed before I go to sleep. Or relax in my room whenever I want. (Who am I kidding? I have three children. There will be no relaxing in my room). I'm ready for my kids to be able to play in the backyard...instead of the front.

Summer is a blast. But the routine of Miss Rose going to school will be nice too.

Sometimes, in the midst of the hectic and harried days, it's nice to let it all go.

Last night we all ate in shifts. Which allowed Bean and I time to exercise, Miss Rose time to play with her beloved neighbor-friend and we didn't stress about it.

Bean said--who cares if the kids watch more TV than normal tonight.

Just let it go. Relax. Take it easy.

So we did. Sometimes, you just have to do it. The laundry is still in the basket. The tub still has a ring. Other chores remain undone.

Oh well. It will get done eventually. Just like the baby will sleep through the night eventually. And the addition will be done eventually.

And in the meantime, we'll go on living.

Wow!

2009-08-03T20:51:00.001-07:00

After finally completeing Gracie's birth story and then adding Lily's I shared the link on a few Babycenter message boards thinking some may be interested in my stories. I know I was very hungry for VBAC stories when I was pregnant with Gracie and then for post-rupture pregnancy info and stories (which is hard to find) when I was pregnant with Lily.

I checked my Stat Counter account today and it looks like my stories have been read almost 600 times today. Wow. I did not expect that. I'm glad I can share my experiences though.

If you are interested, here are links to the Uterine Rupture Support Group and the Pregnancy After Rupture (PAR) groups I found. You will need to apply to become a member and they are only intended for those who have experienced ruptures. But I know they have been quite helpful to me.

And if you found your way here through Babycenter, I don't mind new readers!

Final Installment: Lily Cate

2009-08-02T21:54:00.001-07:00

To catch up, you may want to read these blogs first.

Gracie part 1, part 2, and part 3.

I was looking back in my blog posts to find a link to Lily's birth story. But I guess I never actually blogged the details of her birth. It's not like I wasn't busy you know, with the c-section recovery, pre-K, toddler and baby. Oh yeah, and throw in my job!

It's not nearly as long as Gracie's was...but here are the fun details.

If you've been following my blog you'll remember I blogged this in the morning of the day Lily was born. My labor had been stopped the night before and I was killing time before I could call my doctor to be seen.

I've realized, given my history of uterine rupture and how uncommon it is to experience a rupture and then a subsequent pregnancy, the doctor on call was nervous to make any decisions regarding delivering me. I was 36wks and 5days, just 2 days shy of the magic 37-week full-term number.

As soon as I spoke with my doctor's office, they said to come in just as soon as I could and be seen. Miss Rose and Gracie had stayed the night with their grandma, since we had been at the hospital so late. The next day was the day she normally watches them while I work, so she kept them for us again.

After hearing my story of the night before, my doctor said it sounded like I would deliver before my scheduled c-section date. She planned to let the hospital know that if I came in again in labor to call her (not the on-call doctor) and she'd come do my c-section without trying to stop my labor again. I felt better about this plan, but I was still nervous about the taxing my flawed uterus was getting.

Then it was internal exam time. Upon examining me, I was a very loose 2cm, and easily stretched to 3cm--even more progress since the night before and the head was very low. My doctor said "oh, you're not going to last. This baby is going to come. You're so close to 37, let's deliver you as soon as possible."

Now that was more like it! That's what I was wanting to hear and really put me at peace. They would call the hospital and find out when their was a slot and call me--she said it would be that day or the next. Bean and I did a few quick errands and were on our way to our old house to pick up the co-sleeper (remember, we had just moved 4 days prior), which was next to my work.

While en route I got the call to head to the hospital as soon as I was ready, as my c-section would be at 3pm. It was quite a whirlwind. I had NOTHING packed or prepared. The coming weekend, our first full weekend in the new house, was supposed to be "get ready for baby weekend."

And of course, we were scheduled to have our range delivered that afternoon. Bean initially asked his mom to remain at our house with the girls for the delivery (which killed her) because she loves being at the hospital when the babies arrive. A co-worker, who's also a babysitter of ours, offered to leave work and stay with the girls so his mom could come to the hospital.

We picked up the co-sleeper and headed to the hospital. We didn't even have our camera with us--so my mom brought hers.

When I arrived at the hospital and they began to prep me for surgery, I was already having contractions again, confirming that this delivery was inevitable. I had the most wonderful nurse who had three girls of similar ages (we didn't know yet our third girl was coming). She also had a history of c-sections and pregnancy complications. She told me I was getting the best anesthesiologist in her opinion, which I was excited about.

Everything went textbook. It was actually my best c-section. I had the fewest side effects (itching, nausea etc). The OR team put me at ease and conversated with me. We were very excited to meet our baby and both Bean and I were pretty certain it would be a girl. There were three names on our list--Addelyn, Camille and Lily. Bean told me right away he thought she looked like a Lily. And sure enough, the name was perfect for her.

Lily Cate weighed in at 6lbs, 5oz. Her big sisters were a respective 8lbs, 30z and 8lbs, 8oz--so she was a peanut compared to them. This girl was BORN crying. And she cried all through her exam, until she was brought to me. When they were wheeling me into recovery, I heard a baby crying and when Bean came to talk to me he confirmed that yes, it was our baby! Because the experience was so laid back Bean got some great photos (I'm sharing one at the end) and this was the only time he cut the umbilical cord. Things happened so fast with Gracie we didn't even have a camera in the OR.

Bean tormented our family and didn't tell them the gender of the baby at first. Once the baby was with me, he went out and shared the news with Miss Rose (who still wanted a brother) who then shared it with the rest of the family.

It was taking a long time me to be able to move my legs, but my recovery nurse knew how anxious we were for the girls to meet the baby, so she moved me to my room before I could move my legs. By then the girls were pretty tired and overstimulated, so their excitment wasn't quite what I might have dreamed of. After leaving my room, Miss Rose vomited, thanks to skittles and excitement before dinner!

After the trauma that surrounded Gracie's birth, it was a blessing to have such a drama-free and positive c-section experience. Even though it was a crazy time with just having moved and Miss Rose's birthday being two days prior, and not having bags packed or all the baby purchases made. But family and friends pitched in and we made it through.

In my eyes, they all are my miracle babies. Just knowing that I could get pregnant and have a baby was incredible to experience with Miss Rose. Knowing how close we could have come to losing Gracie, makes her a miracle. And then Lily--who surprised this planner of a mama, was in existance weeks before I knew it and decided her own entrance into the world.

I don't take for granted that I can have babies and even if I didn't have the deliveries I dreamed of, I am healthy and so were my babies.

It still amazes me.

Proof she was born crying! Check out this AMAZING photo Bean snapped.

Click on the photo if you want to enlarge it.
I've changed it to black and white to minimize the "gross" factor for those that don't appreciate photos of a surgery (yes, there is a gasket in my incision which they are pulling the baby from.)

Stop It

2009-08-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

Kids are parrots. They say what you say, how you say it, over and over again. There have already been many times I hear myself in my children. Sometimes it causes my to cringe. Sometimes it's pure comedy! Sometimes it's so sweet to hear Miss Rose "mother" her sisters in the same way I speak to all three of my girls.

As a parent, you often have to get the message of "no" across to your kids. For all sorts of reasons. Because they are being disobedient, because they are in danger, because they are embarassing you in public, because they are having a temper tantrum. Because they are pestering their sister or coloring on the carpet. You get my drift.

I don't want to be one of those parents who barks out rude statements and comments to their kids, only to tell the kids not to say those kinds of things to each other. I'm not a fan of "cut it out" "quit it" "knock it off" and the like.

So I thought, if I use the word "stop" I will get my point across, without being rude, or overusing the word "no".

Good idea, right? But EVERYTHING backfires with kids.

So now, my kids tell each other to stop. They tell me to stop. Oh how I love it when Gracie gets mad and tells me to stop right in my face. Usually it's not even about a specific thing I'm doing. She is just frusterated about everything.

I guess hearing "stop it" barked around the house is better than "knock it off". But still.

It totally backfired.

And she lived (Gracie pt 3)

2009-07-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

I left off here, as I was being rolled into the OR for a now emergency c-section.

Even writing this now, I feel nauseous and almost don't want to go on. But I will. It's good for me. And hopefully interesting and perhaps informative to those reading it. I'm beginning to think that it's been more than just a lack of time keeping me from blogging this.

Time for some writing therapy :)

Once I was in the OR, they quickly began to prep me for surgery. They upped my epidural so that I became completely numb. I was finally numb on my left side, which by then was quite a relief. I had a wonderful nurse who had been with me from the time I was admitted and even though her shift was over, she came with me to assist in the OR. I remember she was hooking me up to the monitors and began to call attention to the baby's numbers.

Baby was not looking so good. She told me that her heartrate was really low and all of the sudden the OR went into a complete flurry. More people descended upon me as the baby's stats continued to decline. I asked the nurse what was going on and if my baby was okay. She did her best to reassure me without making me any promises. I hear the word STAT several times and the dr say "let's get this baby out of her now." There were some minor preparations that hadn't been done yet, but the doctor no longer cared. The OB who had been caring for me was the on-call dr. that night. But all of the sudden I saw my OB, who I'd been seeing in the office. She'd come in to assist in my surgery.

In the midst of the flurry I kept asking the nurse if my husband was going to be able to come in. She affirmed that they would be bringing him in shortly. I heard nothing positive about the condition of my baby and everyone was frantic to get the baby out. I was beside myself. I was in tears, praying harder than I've ever prayed for my baby to be okay.

Then Bean was by my side. I sobbed out that something was wrong with the baby. At first he didn't realize the gravity of the situation. But as I explained more, he understood and we cried and prayed together.

C-sections happen pretty quickly, and this one happened even faster. They pulled the baby out and I think they even announced it was a girl (we didn't know the gender) as they took her to the infant table. It took a few minutes, but finally I heard her cry. She had required a lot of suction and some oxygen to stabilize her.

Bean went with the baby while they completed my surgery. Once surgery was complete, my doctor explained the situation. When they did the primary incision to get to my uterus, they found my uterus already completely open. Her words were that it "split in two like a piece of paper." They did not need to make any incision in my uterus and pulled the baby out of the opening. As they stitched my uterus up, they found that it has split right at the place of my first c-section scar.

Now you know I'm being real on my blog by posting this awful picture of myself! The only thing that mattered was that I was holding my baby. I'd been awake for over 24hrs, labored, pushed, had surgery and went through all that trauma. Apparently Gracie was sharing her opinion of it all too!

The baby is at most risk when a uterine rupture occurs. There is a loss of oxygen once the uterus opens. This explains why Gracie's heartrate began to fall and didn't recover while I was being prepped in the OR. Although it's hard to say, I suspect my uterus ruptured as they were transferring me to the OR, when I was feeling so much pain and pressure in spite of the epidural and wondering if the baby was going to be born before they even got the c-section started.

Uterine rupture is not very common. My doctors and nurses continued to talk to me about it during my stay in the hospital. Gracie never had to spend any time in the nursery and had no ill effects from the lack of oxygen she experienced.

While I had done my research and made an informed decision to try a VBAC based on the low rates of failure and low rates of rupture, I had not realized that the baby was in the most jeopardy when a rupture occurs. In search for more information and personal accounts after she was born, I found an online support group for women who had experienced a rupture. What broke my heart was how many of their baby's did not survive the rupture for a variety of reasons. They carried their babies for 9 months and never got to bring them home. Many of these women had prior c-sections. Some of them tried a VBAC, others just spontaneously ruptured.

Looking back on probably the scariest experience of my life, I can't help but see the hand of God. On me, on Gracie, on my doctors and nurses.

The next day, looking more put together!

Like I shared, I covered this all in so much prayer leading up to my due date. I prayed for wisdom for myself and Bean and all involved. I so desperately wanted to try to have a vaginal delivery, and on paper I was a good candidate. But I didn't want to be stubborn when it came to my safety and the safety of my baby.

I know God was involved in prompting the doctor to recommend a c-section when he did. And of course he had prepared me to say "yes" when that moment came. It was God who protected Gracie when she didn't have enough oxygen and spared us a most horrific outcome. God was all over it.

Sweet Gracie

Looking back, it may sound odd, but I don't regret my choices. I made the mot informed decision I could. I had a new OB with Lily and without me even asking, upon hearing my history she told me that I had been a good candidate for a VBAC and it was good I tried when I did. Sometimes, in spite of ourselves, God grants our petty wishes. I relish the memories of feeling those first "real" contractions, the gush of water, the labor and even the pushing. Me, the girl who would have had drug-free deliveries if possible, who ended up with 3 c-sections.

Even while recovering from Gracie's delivery, my OB assured me that I could have more babies, I would just be closely monitored and be delivered early. Gracie was 8lbs and 8oz! I looked back at a birth story I typed out and saw that the doctor said I had some "prominent pelvic bones" which combined with the baby's size were making for a difficult delivery. The hours of labor, the pushing, the big baby, just stretched my uterus beyond it's capacity. Some ruptures tear up the sides of the uterus, I was lucky I only tore at my previous scar.

That's why, I was so surprised to find myself pregnant again just a year after this traumatic delivery. I had wanted to give my body a bit longer to recover. I definitely experienced my share of anxiety and fear during my post-rupture pregnancy. But I knew I was in God's hands, as was my baby.

That's why, when I began to feel contractions at 36wks, I quickly made my way to the hospital. And that's why the doctor on call didn't want to touch me with a ten-foot pole. I guess they don't often see post-rupture pregnancies. They wanted me to consult with my dr, which is why they tried so hard to stop my labor that night. (God blessed me with a nurse who prepped my for my c-section who'd had 3 c-sections herself with various complications. It was so nice to know I wasn't the only one who took a few risks to have a baby!)

That's why I was SO relieved when my OB decided to deliver me the next day. I was petrified of experiencing another rupture. She said my uterus was in pretty good condition considering my history. It was just slightly thin, but holding up well. I'm sure it helped that little Lily was just 6lbs, a lot less for my scarred uterus to support!

So, this is the end of the world's longest birth story! I am SO blessed that she lived. That my little Gracie is here, to make me laugh and hug my neck. I pray for those mama's who's babies were born straight to heaven. I can't even imagine.

As you can tell, it's still pretty overwhelming for me to think about. The feelings will probably never go away. I do try to share my story whenever I can to inform and encourage and provide a rare perspective.

Although Bean teases me sometimes about wishing I lived on a farm or the little house on the prairie, I'm glad I don't and I'm thankful for good health insurance and medical care.

And I'm thankful for an AMAZING God who is so close and leads us and guides us and protects us. He is the key factor in everything.

I can't imagine life without my Gracie-girl.

Lily's birth story (my post-uterine rupture baby)

Six

2009-07-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

Six months ago I headed to my OB to discuss my labor that had been stopped the night before. I was concerned for my baby's safety and was praying that she would feel it was time to deliver me. And she was.

Six months ago, Lily joined our family.

I can't believe it's been six months. Half a year. That's just incredible. It's gone so quickly. I've tried to enjoy the moments. But they pass so quickly when you're juggling a 3-ring circus with work and all the other things in life. It makes me a little sad that I'll probably never have the first six months of a new baby in my life. But I'm also excited to experience new things and move on from the difficult parts of having a new baby.

Lily started out as a little thing, just over 6 pounds. Now I think she weighs about 15 pounds. With such cute chub, especially on her legs!

Lily spent her first few months in the swing, then she moved on to the bouncer and now her favorite place is the exersaucer. She can roll over, but like my other girls, she's not very motivated yet to do it much. Her tummy is so sensitive that tummy-time is limited to minimize the spit-up. I would guess that she'll be a "late" bloomer when it comes to gross motor skills--just like Miss Rose and Gracie. It must be in the genes.

She's the most vocal of our babies, already trying to compete with her sisters. She's not as attached to her pacifier as the other girls were as babies, lately Lily's two middle fingers on her left hand are the pacifers of choice.

Lily enjoys watching her sisters and her face often lights up when they enter the room or interact with her.

Besides watching Lily develop, so much has happened in six months.

Gracie is potty-trained now, even sleeping through the night in her panties with minimal accidents.

Our house addition is moving closer to completion.

Miss Rose got into the school that was our first choice for her and we went to a Kindergarten playdate last week for her to begin to get acquainted with the teachers and other students.

If anyone has found a way to slow down time, please let me know.

I couldn't help but share these sweet photos from last week. Miss Rose is a great big sister (although she does get annoyed when Lily takes away from her precious time with babysitters and grandmas!) and Lily loves her too.

I'm working on the last installment in Gracie's birth story. Sorry...you'll have to wait a few more days for the conclusion.

Not meshing (Gracie part 2)

2009-07-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

Make sure you've read part 1 first.

So we headed to the hospital around 7 or 7:30, to be joined by my mom later, who I had asked to help coach me. My mom delivered four children (between 7 and 9lbs) without any medication or intervention--and three of them were home births attended by a doctor or midwife. I knew she would be a huge help.

Because my water had broken, the contractions were getting painful. Of course, as all first-laboring moms do, I thought I must be progressing quickly. I think I was just dilated to 2cm when they first checked me. I began to doubt my ability to cope without an epidural, especially since there was little chance of me actually walking or being on my feet because they required constant monitoring due to my previous c-section.

I did end up getting that epidural. I just felt like it was not the time for heroics. Had I been able to labor out of the bed, I may have been able to cope without it. The few contractions I experienced while changing or using the bathroom were much more bearable, then the ones experienced tied to the bed.

And yes, that epidural was delightful. Except for the fact that it didn't take completely on my left side. Most of the pain was alleviated however, so I was still thankful. Later in the night as my labor intensified, so did the pain on my left side. It meant that there was no napping in between contractions, just active resting.

Around 5am I started feeling a lot of pressure, and sure enough I was completely dilated. It was a small victory for me, to have labored in the bed, with an epidural and dilated without any pitocin or other form of induction. I was proud of my body and what it accomplished.

Shortly after I was checked, the pushing began. And I pushed and pushed. It helped some that my left side wasn't completely numb because I knew when the contractions were coming and could feel the effects of pushing. At some point a mirror was brought in and it was amazing to see the small portion of my baby's head trying to make it's way out.

After about an hour, not much progress had been made. The doctor suggested I rest a bit and labor down. So I did. And then I pushed again. With all my heart. But still, not much progress was made. At one point I even asked Bean to get firm with me while counting as I pushed so that I would get fired up and have more energy to push.

Another hour of pushing passed, and the doctor came in again. Although the baby had descended much more, she wasn't much closer to actually coming out. The dr. did a rather thorough (read, up to his elbow practically) exam of my pelvis and the positioning of the baby. After his exam, he felt that everything just wasn't meshing well. I was pretty delirious by then after being awake almost 24hrs and laboring and pushing, so my memory is pretty fuzzy. I doubt he said things weren't meshing, but that's what I took from his explaination of my pelvic structure, baby's head and positioning.

The doctor decided to try the vacuum. The delivery team descended upon the room and it felt like we were about to meet our (gender yet unknown) second baby. After a few tries with the vacuum, the baby still wasn't coming. At that point, the dr. said that he felt we were at the point of another c-section. After pushing so long with no significant progress, and with my history, he wasn't comfortable with me continuing to try for a vaginal delivery.

Although I was emotional about it, I trusted him. Through my whole pregnancy I prayed for God's wisdom. I prayed for a good doctor. So when he gave his recommendation, I agreed. It was time to move to the operating room.

As they were rolling me out of the delivery room, towards the operating room, I remember feeling intense pressure and pain, especially on that left side, where the epidural didn't fully take. I thought, maybe the baby is closer than they think. What if the baby just starts to come out as they move my bed, or while they prepare me for surgery?

Bean was whisked off to change into his surgical scrubs and would be escorted into the OR right before my c-section would begin, as is the usual procedure at our hospital.

**well, I intended this to be a two-part series, but I think it's going to be three. Recounting all the details seems to be cathartic, so I'll just roll with it. More tomorrow.

And she lived (gracie part 3)

I had to try (gracie part 1)

2009-07-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

Back in January, I shared Miss Rose's birth story with you in honor of her birthday on January 26. I had planned to share Gracie's birth story shortly after to lead up to the birth story of #3. I started this post, but never completed it. When I went back to find it, I found that I started it around 8am, the morning of January 28. I must have decided to kill some time before my doctor's appointment that day, following my stopped labor the night before. Once I left for the doctor that morning, I didn't come home for three days because Lily was born that afternoon!

In the fullness of life adjusting to our three-ring circus, I've never gone back to finish it, until now. I think I'll always love reading birth stories, so I hope you enjoy this one. It's long...so I'm doing it in two installments.

Here's Miss Rose's Story.

I always knew I didn't want my children too far apart. My brother and I are 18 months apart and before having children 18-24 months seemed like a great spread! But my mom was able to stay home full-time with us, and I am a working mom. When Miss Rose was 9 months old, I realized I'd have to get pregnant to have an 18-month spread--and that thought was absolutely crazy! If I was a stay at home mom, it would have been a different story.

When Miss Rose was around 2 we (I!) started planning our second child. I finally got Bean on board. He thought "one and done" was great. Typical man! When Miss Rose was 2.5 we got pregnant in our second month of trying. This pregnancy was definately different. I was pretty sick the first trimester.

I spent a lot of time reading and researching vaginal birth after c-section (VBAC). I was still disappointed that I had needed a c-section with Miss Rose because she was breech. I felt that I was a pretty good candidate for a VBAC as my c-section had not been related to problems with labor. I even switched doctors at 30-weeks in favor of a doctor who was more supportive of VBAC's and gave me better care.

One of the main risks of a VBAC is uterine rupture, where the uterus opens up at the point of the previous scar and can even tear beyond that. Initially, this situation is more dangerous for the baby than the mom. But most research I found said that if you went into labor on your own, the chances of this happening were 1%.

Going into this, I knew that I could not be induced, would not have my labor augmented and would require constant monitoring. The biggest factor in my deciding to try a VBAC was my faith in God. I knew there were risks involved, but I trusted God to lead me (and Bean) in our decisions. I trusted God to lead our doctor and nursing staff when the time came. And I determined to not be stubborn and trust the medical staff as well. Sure I wanted a vaginal delivery, but more importantly I wanted a healthy baby.

Because going into labor on my own was crucial to trying a VBAC, I did as much as I could to encourage my body. Starting around 37 weeks, I walked and bounced on an exercise ball, I got on my hands and knees and cleand floors, I did squats and lunges and I used Evening Primrose Oil. I did not try castor oil however!

I worked up until my due date, since I mostly sit at a desk. I had all my responsibilities covered though, as I waited for the baby to come. On my due date, April 4, 2007, I wasn't feeling very energetic and I decided to stay home. It was a Wednesday and at that point I was overseeing our Junior High Ministry and it was youth group night. Early in the day I thought I'd rest and go to youth group that night. In the afternoon though, I wasn't feeling great so I decided to stay home.

My sister-in-law was over for dinner that night and we were also sharing a house with my parents, so there were lots of people around. I remember while I was visiting with my sister-in-law that I was having a few contractions that caused me to catch my breath. She actually noticed and mentioned it to me, even though I was trying to minimize it--not wanting to get my hopes up.

I wasn't too hungry and the emptying of my bowels had begun. I decided to lay down in bed while the family ate dinner. Bean came in to check on me sometime after 6. I had a strong contraction just then, accompanied by a pinching feeling in my lady parts. Then a popping feeling and a small gush. I told Bean- "I think my water broke" and he froze.

I had to coach him to help me get out of the bed and get towels because as soon as I stood up, Niagra Falls proceeded to flow from me. He helped me to the bathroom, where the flow continued. Of course the house became frenetic as he quietly announced what was going on. We didn't want to alarm Miss Rose who was just over three years old. My contractions picked up in intensity and frequency.

Bean made a few necessary phone calls, including to the youth pastor I worked with, even though it was the middle of youth group. He happened to be making some announcements to the students and when he saw Bean was calling, decided to take the call. So all the students found out that our baby was on it's way!

Our good friend and my co-worker would come pick Miss Rose up a short time after we left. As we were leaving Bean ran into the house to grab an extra towel. When Miss Rose asked him what it was for he said "mama has a little juice coming out of her." While at our friend's house, Miss Rose decided to tell her 18-year-old son's friends that "my mama had juice coming out of her." Definately a story for the baby book!

And so we were off to the hospital....

Stay tuned.

Not meshing (gracie part 2)

Snot

2009-07-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I hate snot. I try to use that word very sparingly and mean it. I do abhor snot though. I realize it has a purpose and often is an indicator of illness or allergies.

But I hate it in my kids noses. I hate how they can never seem to blow it all out. It's still stringing out. Gross.

Unfortunately, we see a lot of snot in our house. Allergies run rampant in Miss Rose. Which means that she often develops sinus infections. Which means buckets of snot in my house.

I shared this photo last summer as proof of the allergies and sinus infections and serious Kleenex supporting household we are. Miss Rose fell asleep with her hand in the tissue box because she needed them while in bed.

Right now I think Miss Rose has a sinus infection. Or a developing one. I've actually learned though, that just letting the infection run its course, is just as good as antibiotics. As long as she isn't miserable.

But that means a lot of snot. Which she doesn't ever seem to notice dripping down onto her philtrum. (no, I did not have to look that word up. I already knew it!) I'll tell her to blow, which she does half-heartedly and I can still hear the snot resonating in her nose. More often than not, I will hold the tissue and ask her to blow, and "super-blow" until her nasal cavity is empty.

Because I hate snot.

And yes, I AM that mom who picks boogers out of her baby's nose. Deal with it. I hate snot, and all the forms it comes in.

Firsts

2009-07-17T21:12:00.000-07:00

Because I believe you can never go wrong with photos, here's some photos showing what we've been up to lately.

Our first trip to the beach! I thought I was pretty clever figuring out how to capture the three-ring circus together with the water in the background. (and some tourists of course) We are SO blessed to LIVE here and come anytime we want. In fact, it may become a weekly thing this summer with this group of friends.

It took Miss Rose a little while to warm up to the water as this was our first trip of the summer, and she hasn't spent all that much time at the beach. But by the end of our few hours there, she was already a beach bum. (In fact, I have a photo of her bathing suit wedgie, proving she was a beach bum. Miss Rose spent a lot of time practicing on this boogie board, mostly in about 2 inches of water. But hey, you gotta start somewhere.

And Gracie, well, she liked the sand. The taste of it as well as playing with it. I found her licking her arm and also putting handfuls of it in her mouth. Gracie had fun in the water, although she didn't get quite as brave in the water as her big sister.

She was content to practice swimming in the sand.

Lily slept in the stroller for a while, which gave me time to play with the girls in the water. She's a few weeks away from the "sunscreen age" so I had to avoid the sun with her. Next summer she'll be eating sand with the best of them.

What I learned...
It takes two hours to prepare to go the beach on your own with three small children.

Having friends there to help keep an eye on everyone is a MUST!

Getting there isn't so bad. Leaving is another story! Sand got lodged in the stroller wheels and they refused to turn. Lily was not a happy camper in the sling while I tried to push a sleepy Gracie in the non-turning stroller. The idea of trying to rinse the girls off was ridiculous. So they rode home sandy and wet. And rode in their sandy carseats again today, because I haven't cleaned them out.

Then it takes two more hours to clean up and do sandy laundry when you get home.

And when you go to a concert later that night...you are one exhausted mama the next day!

But it all was much fun and worth being tired. And in my tiredness I still accomplished some cleaning and laundry today.

Parenting is fun as we've years of "firsts" ahead of us.

Fancy Schmancy

2009-07-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

I was very excited last week to come home to this big box!

My fabulous "Celebrity Bump Bag" prize from Modern Mom (via Jewels & Pinstripes). You can read about the contest I won here.

If you want links to the specific products, go here.

Here's my bits and pieces impressions of some of the stuff. If I were able to use everything, I'd feel quite fancy schmancy--definately like a celebrity! I'll try not to bore you with lots of details, just the basics!

Fisher Price Bouncer: LOVE IT! Seriously, fabulous. I've been using a Fisher Price bouncer from 2004, which I like, but my kids never were able to reach the toy bar, except with their feet because of it's design. And the toy bar was kind of clunky. This new bouncer has a toy bar that's totally reachable. Lily is already grabbing the toys with her hands and feet. And this bouncer is so light and easy to move around.

Peanut Shell Sling: Another new fave! It's very deep, which I like a lot. Lily feels very secure in it. A sling is not her favorite mode of babywearing, but when she's in the mood, she's happy in the Peanut Shell. I really like the gray/white/yellow color scheme too.

Peanut Shell Hospital Gown: This makes me want to have another baby! I looked into the designer hospital gowns when I had Lily, but they were too expensive. I realize that hospital gowns get messy and so a cute one isn't so practical, but I would seriously feel like a celebrity mom in the hospital wearing this. I just may hang onto it until we get our long term birth control figured out :)

Robeez: Had them before, love them. Super duper cute! The girl ones fit Lily right now and I think she'll be debuting them at church this Sunday. Bright pink Mary Janes with applique flowers. She'll be a fancy schmancy girl! My nephew, the Baby Bird, will get to look snazzy in the boy shoes.

Bamboo Swaddling Blanket: one of the softest things I've touched. Lily is beyond the swaddling stage, but I definately would have used this.

Angel Dear products: A super sweet white 2-piece newborn outfit. It's SO soft and precious. I would have loved to use it with Lily. But she's way past that size now and it's more appropriate for a fall/winter baby. Also a soft frog rattle and some knit booties for a newborn. Lily is learning to play with toys and the soft frog will be one she enjoys.

Born Free Bottles: BPA-free, why not? I'm using them and so far so good. My bottles were from when Miss Rose was a baby (although I've replaced the parts that deteriorate). I feel more green using them.

Baby Kaed diaper bag: Very posh! I love all the goodies that come inside it. Still haven't decided if I'm going to use it or not because it's rather wide--and I'm not one for super oversized bags or purses. It's very soft.

Snuggle Me'z: If I lived in a cold climate, this would be awesome! But it doesn't get cold enough in So Cal to need a bunting. I love the print though and it's very soft.

Moses Basket: Man, I always wanted one of these while preparing for a newborn. It just doesns't seem like there would be anything sweeter than a newborn baby in a Moses basket. Now that there is one in my house, I'm not sure how I would have used it. Maybe if I had a large home. However if I had a newborn in my house, I'm sure I would find a way to use it!

And my favorite item in the basket...

I know. Pretty silly! Such a small item. But I love it. Lily likes to grab blankets and hold onto them. Especially when she's trying to go to sleep. And with my obsession with all things red for her, this fits the bill. It's a great red with satin on one side and a soft velvety cotton on the other, with a cute duck attached. What's not to love?

I've actually been checking ebay and doing various Google searches trying to find a red "lovey" for her that wasn't made of a super heavy material. They are hard to come by. Everyone has pink and blue and various other colors. I really think there is a market out there for more variety in color of ALL baby items. Anyhow, I digress. This little lovey goes everywhere with us and is something Lily can actually hang on to and play with for short amounts of time.

Thanks Modern Mom!

Not Me! Monday on Tuesday

2009-07-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

I wrote most of this blog in preparation for Monday, but I ran out of time to finish it. But I wouldn't post a Not Me! blog on Tuesday. Nope, not me!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Here's our weekly opportunity to bare our souls, confess our blunders and come clean with our shortcuts in life and mommyhood.

I certainly have NOT been bemoaning the static number on the scale, while still indulging in almost nightly desserts. Not me, I always stick to my diet.

My shoulders and back are NOT sunburnt from an outing with my kids. While I coat my children carefully with plenty of sunscreen, I would NOT forget to coat myself.

Even though my 5.5month old is showing some signs of being ready to start solids, I am NOT avoiding it because it will add one more thing to my already full life. I would NOT decide that nursing more is easier and try to hold off on that cereal a few more weeks.

And when the sheet in the co-sleeper needs changing, I would NOT just flip it around so that the dirty (slobber, spit-up infested) portion is at her feet. Nope. NOT me.

My sweet husband is NOT currently wii bowling right now, practicing, because a bunch of kids almost beat him last night! He did NOT just say to me, "I refuse to let those kids beat me."

Although my two-year-old has been potty-training since Memorial Day weekend, I did NOT just buy her first actual panties. Which means she has NOT been going commando since then. And I did NOT recently find a photo that proves the point. Nope, not me.

So, what's NOT new with you?

They're my girls!

2009-07-09T22:28:00.000-07:00

I love comparing photos. Photos of the girls at the same ages. Photos of Bean and I compared to the girls. It's fun to see the similarities and the differences. To see how our girls are so individual in their looks, yet they bear a family resemblance as well.

I was looking for some other photos and came across this one of myself--and realized there were some similarites to a recent professional photo of Gracie. People usually find more resemblance in the girls to Bean than to myself. I don't often hear that they look like me. But in this photo, I definately see a lot of similarities. Gracie and I are both 2 in these photos. She is my girl!! (Can you believe how blonde and straight my hair is? Now it's dark and curly. Crazy puberty.)

So of course I had to search out Miss Rose's 2-year photos. Miss Rose definately favors her dad more than me, however she totally has my chin and jaw line. And of course my post-puberty curly hair!

Pictures are fun! I haven't been as good about photos of Lily. I need to get on that. We WILL get her 6 month photos done at the end of the month. I have photos of both Miss Rose and Gracie at 6 months in blue/green/aqua sundresses. Not matching, just similar color schemes. Both were gifts. When we recieved the dress for Gracie, I knew we had to do a photo in it to match what we already had for Miss Rose. So now I'm on the hunt for a THIRD complimentary dress for Lily. We want to get them framed in matching frames eventually and put them somewhere special in the house.

It will be fun to see how Lily changes and grows into her look just as the other girls have. So far I see quite a mix of how Miss Rose and Gracie looked as infants.

The one thing I have yet to do is PRINT the photos we have. Thank goodness for digital photography!

And the Beco gets the win

2009-07-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

When it comes to baby purchases, I like to be frugal (lots of craigslist and baby resale stores) but sometimes, when it really matters, it's worth spending the money. We all have our "must have" items.

Diaper bags have been one of my most sought after items. Looking for one that was the right size, with the right compartments. My first favorite came from Pottery Barn Kids . After having Gracie, I found the Skip Hop dash (purchased for a steal on ebay) and have gotten a TON of use out of it. Now, I'm looking forward to trying this one from my Celebrity Bump Bag. I think it may fulfill my unrealized desire for one of these bags.

Another huge deal for me was finding the right double stroller--I decided a jogger would be most useful--and was so excited to find my Bob Revolution Duallie on craigslist at a savings of over $200 new. This stroller has now seen us through many trips to Sea World, the zoo, the fair and MANY miles run at the lake.

The only baby carrier I ever used with Miss Rose was the Baby Bjorn. I never found it very comfortable and didn't use it as much as I thought I would. She was my firstborn, so I was able to carry her in my arms quite a bit.

By the time Gracie was born, the babywearing buzz had hit and I thought I would give it a try. After all, with a 3-year old to care for as well, I would need a way to be hands free. I found a New Native sling at a baby resale for just $15 and it turned out to be one of my best purchases! [In fact, I couldn't decide if I wanted to purchase it or not. So I originally left the store without it. But after reconsideration, I called and they held it for me.]

Gracie was quite a colicky baby and I spent many wee hours of the morning pacing the house with her in the sling. She loved it. She would fall asleep in an instant in the sling and enjoyed many waking hours there too. As she got older, she would wave her hands and kick her feet in excitment when she saw the sling. When Gracie was 3 months old I spent 10 days in Ireland on a missions trip and the sling was invaluable.

Lily, notsomuch a fan of the sling. This time around I gave Hotsling a try. [I must confess, I don't find the sling deep enough and it's not as great as the New Native.] There have been a few times she's slept for a bit in the sling, but usually she arches her back and fights it.

Lily loves to be upright. Hence the search for another style of babywearing. I found this chart helpful. It boiled down to the Ergo and the Beco. I heard positive reviews of both. There were two swinging factors for me. Construction and style.

My Beco arrived a few weeks ago. I decided that was what I really wanted for my birthday. Yes, I know it's really for the baby and not for me. But it makes my life easier, so it's for me in some ways. And it was hard to justify the price, just for another baby carrier. I liked that the construction of it supported a smaller baby. We tried a mei tai, but it just made Lily mad because her head doesn't sit high enough yet. I think once she's taller, we'll get more use out of it. Plus the Beco comes in a ton of cute patterns, and I chose River.

We've had some VERY successful uses of the Beco so far. Lily seems to feel very secure in it, and she can see out of it. The most convicing experience so far was that she was content to stay in it while I sat a baseball recently for about 45 minutes. When she's in a sling, I have to be up and moving for her to be content.

It made a BIG Target shopping trip a cinch since I could put Gracie in the cart and not have to worry about the infant seat or Lily getting mad in the sling like what happened at Costco one time.

Yes...the Beco was the little surprise I was waiting for...and it gets the win for baby carriers this time around. [I'm glad too, that it seems to have good resale value, which is another criteria I use when making purchases!]

Here we are at the zoo...she refused to fall asleep in the stroller, but it didn't take long in the Beco. And there is the handy cover to shield her from the sun! [photo taken by Miss Rose, that's a elephant statue in the background and Gracie in the jogger]

Not Me! Monday

2009-07-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

Confession is good for the soul, and none of us is perfect! This is a great opportunity to share those moments you're not so proud of and the ones you can't help but laugh at.

I haven't played along in a few weeks and I'm sure I've wracked up more Not Me! moments than I will be able to recall.

I did not notice this afternoon that there was pee in the potty chair (which sits in our living room because the bathroom is so small)--even though I'm fairly sure it hadn't been used since the morning. Nope. No pee sitting out for hours. Not at my house.

Bean did not encourage me to just for the bean and cheese burrito on Saturday afternoon, in spite of Lily's intolerance for dairy. And it wasn't Bean who left the house at 5:50am the next morning for a bottle of Mylicon. We are much smarter than that.

Speaking of Lily, she's bathed quite often, if you were wondering. I do not question on a weekly basis, when she had her last bath, because it's never been long enough that I would forget.

And no, that was not me, waiting for 10+ minutes in the Starbucks drive-thru, while my kiddos and nephew were entertained by the minivan dvd player that I insist I don't use very often. I did not pay for my doctored up caffeine with $3 secretly borrowed from Miss Rose's stash. I would never be that desparate.

I am a very honest and responsible shopper. I did not leave Target with an unpaid item in my 2yr old's lap. It had been a long and successful trip, so instead of risking meltdowns, I did not decide just to bring the tag back later this week and pay for the item. Nope, not me.

I'm quite curteous and would not annoy my followers on Twitter my adding #moonfruit to my tweets in order to win a new Macbook Pro. That would be rude!

I did not win the Celebrity Bump Bag from Modern Mom by submitting their favorite advice for new and expecting moms. I am not anxiously watching for the UPS or FEDEX driver to make a delivery to my house sometime soon.

So, what's not been going on in your house this week? Write your own blog and then link up here.

A Happy 4th in Photos

2009-07-05T21:51:00.000-07:00

The one opportunity to dress her like this! It's actually a 0-3 month dress, but worked quite well as a tunic style shirt with her little denim shorts. Such a BIG smile!

Gracie and I getting ready for some fireworks--as seen from a friend's driveway. No fighting crowds or traffic and no loud booms--although Gracie insists that everything is loud these days.

Evidence that Miss Rose had fun. She's in her swim cover-up (she swam 2x) and is covered in dirt and food. Hiding her face from the camera like always. Some things never change.

Gracie enjoying her first fireworks show! Last year she was too young to really understand what was going on. She said they were "big huge" one of her favorite phrases these days. She kept asking where the fireworks went until she went to bed.

Cuddling with Nana aka Nannie during fireworks. Of course they both wanted to be on her lap.

Another of our self-portraits.

Great fun was had by all!

Even the worst, is still the best

2009-07-02T13:12:00.001-07:00

Today has been one of those days. And yes, it's only half over.

I started out tired, thanks to 4 days of work and some insomnia on my part, added to a dose of stupid.

The baby hasn't been sleeping so well. Waking up and wanting to nurse back to sleep, although she's been known to sleep 7-8hrs straight many times over. Not lately. She doesn't have her own room yet. We are still under construction. Hopefully by the end of the summer.

She's quite well-fed, as evidenced by the rolls on her legs and the rash in her sweaty neck rolls. When she woke up for the SECOND time last night at a three hour interval, I decided to see if she would go back to sleep. (That my friends, was the dose of stupid).

There was a small amount of bloody murder screaming (during which Bean took his pillow and headed to the couch...I didn't blame him). Then some fussing. Then some quiet. Then more fussing. Then she found her thumb. Then she cried. Then I held the pacifier in. Then I patted her bum and her back. And yet she never settled back in. I can't blame her. I'm right there. She can smell the comfort and she wants it whether she needs it or now. (hmmm, sounds like my issues with sweets)

So I gave in. She's my last baby after all. (In case you were wondering, I detest the phrase "last baby" no matter how true it is and no matter how much peace I feel about it.) All in all, I lost quite a bit of sleep in the process though. Poor Bean did too. And he had to go to work today. Brutal.

Made for one tired mama when Gracie started calling for me this morning--at least it was after 7am though. Miss Rose slept through the yelling somehow. Quickly it was time to go pick my nephew up for a few hours to give his 2wk post-c section mama a break. I think I've JUST decided to nickname my nephews Big Bird and Little Bird on my blog. If you know them, you know why, and you are laughing too!!

Yeah, Gracie isn't doing so well with sharing toys in her own home. It didn't matter what toy Big Bird picked up, she wanted it. And cried and cried. And cried. And cried. And threw fits.

I attempted to Shred but that last a whole FIVE minutes. Baby was done with her nap. Early I might add. Would she sit in the bouncer while I finished a measly twenty minute workout? Nope. She wanted to nurse.

Oh, and did I mention I had pumped an hour prior. I only have a few ounces stored and need to build up a bit more of a stash. So there was no fast letdown for her. And did that ever make her mad. So she cried. And cried. And cried. Finally we worked through it and she found out with a little more work--yes there was still plenty for her.

So let's go outside and play. We have no backyard currently. Under construction (notice the theme here). So we pull the playhouse out of the garage and play in the driveway. It was going well. Then the contractor came. Time to pack up and head inside.

We managed to make it through another hour playing playdough and eating lunch. I took Big Bird home, put my babies down for naps and Miss Rose is playing next door. Ah, finally. Peace and quiet.

Here's the thing. I've been working on my attitude lately. And how I express myself. Was it crazy and hectic? Yes. Did I get to do what I wanted (Shred). No. Sure I could focus on those things. But I CHOOSE to focus on the fact that I'm at home, being a mommy today. I was able to give my sister in law a few hours with just one of her fledglings. I nursed my hungry baby, instead of her getting a bottle. I am the main influence on my children today.

And that is why, even the worst day--(and this wasn't the worst day by any means), is still the best day. Because this is the life God gave me. This is the balance between my job and my home. This is the opportunity to help out a loved one.

It's about my attitude. And how I face the day. I can have a bad day and still love my life and love my kids. I'm learning. I'm being molded and made more into HIS image.

I do suppose at some point, I need to take a shower. Maybe I'll finish Shredding. Or do some housework. No matter what, it's still the best.

I WON! I WON!

2009-07-01T20:50:00.001-07:00

As I was laying in bed last night, awake, between the hours of 2:30 and 4:30am, it occured to me that the contest I entered on Modern Mom was over or ending soon. Why was I awake? I don't know. I initially woke up because the baby wanted to nurse. She went back to sleep easily, I did not. Too many things on my mind I guess.

Back to the contest. I checked my email this morning. And lo and behold, there was an email announcing that they had picked MY advice as their favorite and I won the fabulous prize of $1600 worth of baby related items. I was so excited. I immediately shared the news with some of my co-workers and we oo'd and ahhed over the goodies.

I've submitted the necessary paperwork and given them my address. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to receive it--I expect it could be awhile. I'm very excited about the diaper bag, Robeez and Peanut Shell sling. I'll be able to share some of the loot with family members who have recently given birth or are expecting. (Although I will admit the idea of ME being pregnant again to take full advantage of all the items is dreamy...but adding another child to our family would pretty much be insanity. So I'll be content to share with others and live vicariously through them.)

I still can't believe I won! I guess the time and thought I put into my entry paid off. You can read it here.

I'll be sure to take pictures and share my thoughts when the goodies arrive.

Advice for a new mom

2009-06-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

UPDATE:
I WON!!! Read about it here!
******************************************
I have an odd fascination with Brooke Burke. I don't know why. I guess for a celebrity, she seems somewhat down to earth and as hands on as she can be, as a mom. I've been entering contests on a website she helped launch called Modern Mom. Why, I don't know. Maybe I'll win some cool stuff sometime. Although I doubt it. A recent contest asked for advice for a new or expecting mom. I thought I'd share what my entry was.

You are about to embark upon the most insane, joyful, rewarding, exhausting and meaningful journey of your life.

Embrace every moment and experience of pregnancy and the early days with your infant.

Record as much as you can--

through photos, blogging, journaling, baby book, scrapping, video etc.

Trust your instincts. Take everyone's advice and your own research and combine it into what works for you and your baby.

Find ways to take care of yourself, not just the baby.

You have to feed your own soul in order to give 110% to your baby.

Give yourself permission to be frustrated and overwhelmed

and at your wits end. We all go there.

It doesn't make you a bad mom or love your baby less.

It means you are human!

Accept help, but also create your own boundaries.

Look at every day a the best day of your life--

whether it was full of poop and spit up, or smiles and coos.

You are blessed to be a mom.

I'll let you know if I win!

I'm just sayin'

2009-06-29T22:10:00.000-07:00

It doesn't get much cuter than this folks.

I'm just sayin'.

(and yes of course, that's still the potty chair in the background.)

Yup

2009-06-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

Gracie is a little firecracker.

Case in point. Conversation last night, after she left the bathroom when I was asking her to come back.

Me: Gracie, come back to the bathroom (x18)

Gracie: (no response)

Me, after following her into the bedroom: Come here for your diaper. You need to listen to Mama and obey. Look at me and say "yes mama."

Gracie (said with attitude): Yeth (she can say yes, but when she has an attitude, she likes to slur. I don't know why.

Me: Really, is it going to be like this? (said somewhat to myself as I finally got her diaper on her)

Gracie: Yup.

Even Miss Rose laughed at her response. She's giving me a run for my money!

*******************************
On another note, I have a slight addiction to entering contests online for baby stuff. It seems like one of these days I will win. So here's a shamless plug for another entry. (I really want to try out the muslin blankets that are part of this giveaway)

Win a Sakura Bloom Ring sling and Aden and Anais Swaddling Blankets from Nature's Child - Wholesome goods for Mothers and Babies

Stay tuned tomorrow for another post that is contest related.

Blogger's Block...

2009-06-26T14:48:00.000-07:00

I seem to have some blogger's block right now. In fact, I probably have too many topics I'm interested in blogging about. And I don't have the mental capacity to tackle them.

Photos are fun to share as well!

My babies...my little girls...I usually don't dress them in matching clothes, but these were hand-me-down gifts, and I couldn't resist!

Bean proudly showing off his "world's greatest dad" paper badge on Father's Day! Usually he works his part-time job on Sunday nights, but he took the day off and we got to enjoy an entire Sunday as a family. It was just as much a treat to us as it was to him. I, of course, had to be at church at 7:30am that morning--but as a gift to Bean I asked a friend to hang with the girls at church so he could enjoy a few hours at home alone.

Lily is SO cheerful sometimes. She just loves to smile. She had her 4-month appointment this week (although she's almost 5 months!) and is growing well. Over 13lbs now and 24inches. She's actually a bit short right now! Maybe she'll be the one to take after mama because the other girls are tall so far.

If I knew photoshop, I'd definately mess with this photo. Miss Rose posed there herself, and she just has so much joy in her face. And yes...that's Bean's shadow as he takes the photo!

Have a wonderful weekend!

I'll keep trying

2009-06-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling that some of my discipline hasn't been getting through to Miss Rose. We keep having the same problems over and over. She can be very ungrateful. She chooses to focus on what we said "no" to, quickly forgetting all that we've said "yes" to. And the complaining and the whining. It never ends!

So today, when faced with an ungrateful, complaining child, I decided to try a new method of discipline. I never want to discipline just for the sake of discipline. It needs to be a learning process.

After multiple warnings, a spanking was imminent. The story of the ungrateful lepers that Jesus healed came to mind. I found one of our Children's Bible's in order to have a lesson before the spanking this time.

I sat with Miss Rose and explained we were going to read a Bible story before the discipline and then we'd pray together. I read her the story.

Her response, while in tears, "I know that story, and I don't understand what it has to do with my problem."

Well then.

I confess, I was unable to contain myself. I tried to keep it in, but I giggled a bit. And had to gather myself. At least she knew the Bible story was supposed to be applicable.

I explained how she needs to be more grateful. I think she got it.

If not, well, I'll keep on trying.

He's her daddy

2009-06-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Miss Rose and I went out to do some errands, including Father's Day Prep. While at Nordstrom Rack I asked her to stand in one spot while I checked out some flip flops (one thing for him, one for me, right?!) She picked up some Converse ankle socks that happened to be to her left and asked if she could get them for Daddy. Not a bad choice since he never buys socks for himself, and he loves his Chucks.

I agreed--yes, great idea for Daddy. Miss Rose proceeded to pick up a box that was to her right and say "or we could get him these." Um no dear, Daddy does not need boxer briefs. And please quickly put the box back and let's go before we have to discuss male anatomy while in Nordstrom Rack. You know what the photos on those boxes look like... Thankfully we made a clean getaway!

If she had it her way, Miss Rose would have given Daddy his gifts right when we got home, but I talked her into waiting. But first thing this morning she wanted to give him the socks--so of course I let her.

After church this afternoon she was ready to give him the tongs we bought (ours recently broke and we do a lot of grilling, so they are necessity) and then she spotted the card she picked out for him and insisted on giving it to him without signing it. And she was thrilled to present him with the "World's Greatest Dad" paper medallion she made in Sunday school.

Who needs wrapping paper, big presentations or even to sign the card? He's her daddy. And it's Father's Day. And she can honor him however she wants. It's special not because of the packaging, but because it truly came from her heart.

I just wish this weekend came from her bank account too, not ours. It's been very fun and very special...but a birthday and father's day made for an expensive weekend. As Bean always says, "it's just money, and we can always make more." We may be eating beans and rice and peanut butter and jelly a lot the rest of the month! But it was worth every penny.

The best years of my life

2009-06-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

I turned 32 yesterday. I don't feel like that much of my life has passed. Yet I look around me, and it certainly has. Babies who were born to friends of mine around my high school graduation are entering high school this year. It doesn't seem right!

I couldn't have asked for much more on my birthday! It started the night before when I decided to make a "birthday eve" cake, because I needed some chocolate. My favorite homemade cake came out wonderful and after sharing it with family, friends and construction workers--it was gone in less than 24hrs!

My "middle sister" came to town the night before and stayed with us. She is my favorite running partner. We managed to get Miss Rose to ride 4 miles while we ran (and I pushed the little ones) at the Lake. Miss Rose was quite done by the end, but she was a real trooper. And instead of the June gloom that persists today, yesterday was sunny!

Aiden Hawk (to compliment his brother Talon Steele), my newest nephew was born on my birthday. My sister in law's doctor scheduled the c-section for that day, and so they went with it. I got the pleasure of going with him for his first bath at the hospital. So sweet.

Bean had something in the works for quite a while. My "little sister" came also to see the new baby and celebrate with me. The sisters, Bean, Lily and I piled in the car and headed downtown. We ended up at Old Spaghetti Factory (another favorite ) for dinner...and slowly my closest, longtime friends (well a few were missing!) showed up for dinner and then we all went to a baseball game. It was such a special time and meant a lot as most of them had to travel 90miles to celebrate with me.

My husband, my family, my nearest and dearest, I am blessed.

There is a local radio show I have been listening to since elementary school. They sign off their time slot saying "this has been the best day of our lives."

I wholeheartedly echo that about each day and year of my life. Sure there are difficult times and moments. But I love my life. I love every minute I spend with my children. I love the husband God blessed me with who spoils me rotten--even though I never want him to. I love every time I get to pray with someone in my job and see their life changed. I love my friends, new and old.

Every year has been, and will be, the best year of my life. Because God has blessed me richly in so many ways.

Oh yeah. Bean let me order something I've been drooling over for my birthday. I'll share it with you when it arrives! The man truly does spoil me :)

I'm glad we have a loveseat

2009-06-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

A little more than a year ago we bit the bullet and purchased some nice couches. It's always hard to put the money out for things like that, but in the end we find that we're happier with quality purchases that will last a long time. Bean is really good about finding financing with 0% interest for a length of time within which we can pay off the entire purchase before interest begins to accrue.

However, I digress.

We've been very pleased with our Lazy-Boy couch and loveseat. They've held up well thus far, although they are abused by our circus act daily. We try to keep food off the couches. But even when there are spills, the stain-resistant treatment on them works very well. Gracie also loves to wipe her snotty nose on the couch as well. Lovely.

We sit on the couch daily to read, cuddle, watch TV etc.

The loveseat, well it gets a lot of use too. Not the kind you may expect though.

This is what it usually looks like.

(if this were a Not Me! post I'd say--that's not a potty chair in my living room, nor is my baby in front of the TV, and my house certainly is more picked up then what's reflected in this photo.)

Or this.

It's a pretty expensive laundry basket/folding table/toybox/junk area.

Good thing we have a loveseat.

(And yes, that's an adorable picture of Bean and Gracie!)

Not Me! Monday

2009-06-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

Ready to 'fess up to the not so perfect things we do every day as parents? I find it particularly refreshing and quite amusing to think back on my week and what I didn't do. Click on the photo above to visit MckMama's site to read her list this week and everyone who is linking up.

Last week I did not finish a Diet Coke at 9:30pm at night, because I'm giving it up (again) tomorrow. Not me! And I will not be the one having difficulty sleeping tonight either. I also did not just eat several cookies for the same reason.

I do not check my in my rear-view mirror at least once a week to be sure I didn't forget the baby. There's no way the thought would even cross my mind, that I might have forgotten to load her in.

I am not currently salivating over a few baby carriers that are uber-expensive. Not me. I'm a thrifty mama. Not this one. Or this one.

I certainly don't alternate between calling Gracie one of the "big girls" and one of the "babies." That would contribute to some sort of middle child syndrome.

I definately did not nurse Lily post-mud run with stubborn flecks of dirt still stuck to me and certain parts important to her.

I did not pour the pee from the potty chair into the sink because I was so tired at the end of the day. Not me!

A rare capture

2009-06-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

It's not often that Miss Rose will pose, much less smile for a candid shot these days. But when she does, she's so beautiful and sweet! This picture is from my iphone, to show Bean her wearing the new swimsuit coverup he bought her. Her cousin has a robe to bring to swim lessons and Miss Rose has been asking for one. Unfortunately, it's not really warm bathrobe season. At first glance, she wasn't thrilled with the substitute. But obviously, she warmed up to it.

In other family news...Gracie is doing fabulous with potty-training. Although I forgot about the frequent trips to public restrooms during this time. But in the end, it beats all the diaper changes! She was accident free today--which included a trip to the lake, Sea World for 3 hours and a 1.5hr nap. She fell asleep in the car, so I just transferred her to her bed (with a waterproof mat on it just in case!)

Oh, and I thought outings with a newborn, a toddler and preschooler were challenging. Just when I mastered those, things change up, of course. Now it's a baby (almost 5 months now! where does the time go) who isn't so interested in snoozing the entire time, a potty-training toddler and an almost Kindergartener. Keeping life interesting. And entertaining of course.

Pass the Butter

2009-06-07T21:40:00.000-07:00

I love these rolls. Can't get enough of them.
Pass the butter, because I just want to eat them up.

My other girls weren't so roly-poly.
I'm proud to say every ounce and inch is curteous yours truly.
It's amazing that God gave me the ability
to completely nourish another individual.
Astonishing in fact.
Sure, I have complaints about my post-baby (x3) body,
especially the baby-feeding parts.
But the superficial sacrifices are worth it.

What a blessing it is, to be the mom of three beautiful daughters.

Proof

2009-06-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

If you've been following my blog for a while, you may recall that sometimes I refer to Miss Rose as an amazon child. I especially recall this hilarious entry.

In case you were wondering, she's still an amazon child.

And I have proof.

Miss Rose is "student of the week" for her class and got to prepare a poster about herself, including her height and weight.

Ready for this? 60lbs and 48 inches. My child is 4 feet tall. At 5 years old. She's not even 5-1/2 yet. She's above 97% on the growth charts. She is only 1 foot and 4 inches shorter than me. I had to double check her carseat spec's and thankfully it goes to 65lbs, so hopefully she'll be able to stay harnessed until her 6th birthday, or at least close to it.

That's also a 2-inch and 8lb increase since October. No wonder she's been so hungry recently.

Sometimes she's like a big puppy, who really is too big for your lap, but is going to find a way to fit in it anyways. It's very sweet. She's a lover.

And while we're talking about Miss Rose, here is a cute exchange we had tonight while driving home from church."

Miss Rose: "Mama, I have some bleeding on my leg going on back here."

Me: "Really, what's going on?"

Miss Rose: "My leg is bleeding."

Me: "Well, is it a little bit or a lot?"

Miss Rose: "To me, it's a lot."

Upon inspection at home, she'd picked a bug bite and it was just a small raw spot on her leg. There wasn't even a drop of blood. But to her, it was a lot.

I sure love my amazon child.

Just once

2009-06-03T09:20:00.002-07:00

I've read all the books. For the most part I follow the advice. Nothing can be perfect, you know.

But yet, no success.

My babies DO NOT sleep through the night easily. Three times. Three babies. No dice.

Babywise, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happiest Baby on the Block, the Baby Whisperer. I take pieces from them all. I do the routines. I follow the eat-play-sleep plan. I'm not a pacifier for my baby, nor a snack machine. Baby gets full feedings and is satisfied for 3 hours. I don't go more than 4hrs during the day between feedings. I swaddle (until they learn to roll over in bed).

My babies sleep wonderfully during the day. By the time they are a few months old, they settle into a basic routine that includes 2 long naps (2+ hours) each day and 1-2 small catnaps. I am very thankful for this as I don't deal with a crabby, needy, overtired baby all day and I can get stuff done while they nap.

But sleep through the night, no way! I've tried the dreamfeed, but that has never helped me either. In fact, it seems to encourage more frequent waking. Take last night for example. Bedtime feeding about 7:30 and to bed. Dreamfeed at 10:30. And she was still up at 1:30 to eat again. And crying again before 6am.

They always go back to sleep easily after the middle of the night nursings. Sometimes though, I do not.

Just once, I would love to have a baby that decided on their own to sleep through the night. Just once I would like to not have to decide at what age should the middle of the night feedings end. Just once I'd like to not have to listen to my baby cry and fuss her way back to sleep.

The thing is, I know there is a point they are capable. I know because once they get it--they get it. With Miss Rose it only took one night. One rough night for us, listening to her cry for a bit and then fuss until she fell asleep. And she slept through the night from that point on. Gracie too. While she quickly stopped needing to nurse at night, she did still wake from time to time, but a bit of comfort was all she'd need.

But I was hoping that this third baby would be my "just once". My easy child to sleep through the night. It was not to be so.

Where is my downfall? Perhaps I keep my babies in my room too long. With Miss Rose and Lily--it's been out of necessity. No other room was available. Miss Rose had to sleep in the dining room of our 1-bedroom apartment. If I decide to work with Lily on this, she'll have to be in the living room as her bedroom isn't available yet.

But I like having them close when they are young. While they are nursing in the night, this is the most convienent as well. I easily suffer from insomnia, and not being able to go back to sleep--when you have three kids and a job-- doesn't work well. So I keep my baby close. Not usually in my bed, but next to it. But I know many who do the same, and their babies sleep through the night, so maybe that isn't the culprit.

Please know that I will always feed a hungry baby. I would never let my baby scream for long periods of time. And usually the all-out crying doesn't last long. Which is my sign that they are capable of going longer without feeding.

Sigh. Just once. It would have been nice. But for now, I'll keep waking to feed my baby while I keep her close.

Maybe keeping my baby close is worth the waking. I am having difficulty grasping the idea that my baby, my last baby, is almost half a year old. I'm not ready just yet. Maybe one night she'll surprise me and I'll get my "just once."

Not Me Monday: Potty Training Edition

2009-06-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

Click on the button above to find all about how you can participate in "Not Me" Monday and read other entries.

I prepared this blog last week, but Not Me Mondays was on break for Memorial Day.

I did not decide to start potty-training my 2 year old this weekend. Because I am not tired of buying and changing diapers for two children each day.

And said two year old has not been bare-bottomed most of the weekend in my house, and the car, and the stroller. I did not have a brief argument with Bean about whether or not to diaper her for lunch at Rubios. I was not arguing for her just sitting on a waterproof mat. Bean was not the one who won the argument and she did not end up diapered.

I was not Tweeting about pottytraining, including photos of my kid on the potty chair, even though my boss/pastor gets my Tweets instantly.

I did not bring the potty chair with us in the van and it was not me who was dumping the (just liquid) contents of a potty chair in the bushes of two different parking lots in the city.

It was not my two year old who told me several times regarding potty training "that's yucky" and "that's gross."

Nope, that wasn't my daughter, trying to diaper herself with baby sister's diapers because she was tired of being bare-bottomed. She did not tell me this evening, "Mama, I need clothes."

In defense of all the things I did not do, it was not my daughter who only had one accident all of Saturday--save a few hour period we were at a birthday party and she was diapered.

I am not going to continue doing these same things, hoping for more success.

A Venture into Potty-training!

2009-05-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

So we ventured into potty-training a little more than a week ago. I was inspired by my neighbors who recently potty-trained their daughter who is about 6 weeks younger than Gracie using this 3-day Diaperless program.

I had to make a few alterations because following the program 100% was not realistic for us. I'm pleased with the results so far and thought I'd share my experiences and adjustments.

The basic premise of this program is that the toddler goes diaper-free for three days, during which you stay home and encourage peeing by lots of liquids.

I will admit, going diaper-free is a bit easier with a girl than it might be with a boy. I put Gracie in dresses, so she does have some coverage and doesn't feel completely naked. She learned pretty quickly to hold the dress up to pee.

The first few days we stayed home quite a bit. Gracie definately had accidents the first several hours, but also some successes. By the end of the first day she was peeing on the potty the majority of the time. The second day was almost completely accident free.

The potty chair is in the living room and when she is resistant to sitting still, we watch a little TV or read a book and almost always sing a "potty song" (usually Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) to encourage her to sit long enough to pee. There are other suggestions in the article that we use also.

The program encourages bare-bottomed outings, bringing the potty chair along in the car. I have done this some, but usually I'm out by myself with the kids--and managing an infant, a bare-bottomed toddler, potty chair and 5yr old just isn't feasible. (I know I am brave and try a lot, but that's not one thing I'll do!)

Gracie has been in diapers most of the time when we are away from home. However, we always use the potty right before and after each trip and sometimes her diaper stays dry. She has surprised us by having a dry diaper after some of her naps and even a few mornings.

At this point, Gracie is almost accident free while we are at home--even though she's in a diaper for outings. The next step is having her in knit pants or shorts (no panties or pull-ups underneath) at home and learning to stay dry. Last night she was in knit pants for about 4 hours (including at a restaurant) and she stayed dry. Whoo-hoo!!

This has been a great program for us to use and we are progressing quickly. I'm hoping that by the end of this week Gracie will be in bottoms and staying dry--even when we aren't home. She did adjust to being bare-bottomed, but it hasn't been her favorite.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a Potty-training Not Me! Monday blog and laugh at some of our funnier moments!

Working on a new layout...

2009-05-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Please forgive the layout of my blog currently.

I'm working on a new layout, but I am quite a novice and it's slow going!

The View From Here

2009-05-26T21:14:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. Lots of family togetherness, a date night, a family birthday party, and picnicing with friends.

Bean went to a baseball game about 90 minutes away on Monday. Which meant he was gone for about 8 hours later in the day and evening.

I was glad he accepted the invitation. Bean doesn't do enough for himself. I think as a parent, especially of young children, it's important to have ocassional "me" time. Bean always supports when I want to grab coffee with a friend or go on a solo run. I always encourage Bean to do something for himself.

Bean sent me this photo to show how close their seats were to the field and how great his view was.

I of course, felt the need to respond with photos of my view at home.

Can you tell what that is? Poop on the floor. And no, we do not have a dog, or any other animals. For the record, this was just one of two pooplets and the rest of the poop DID make it in the potty!

And then there was the feverish baby I spent much of the evening holding and cooling off with a cloth.

Some nights the course of events might have driven me to the brink, but in this case I was rather calm, cool and collected. Quality family time will do that to me. I was Queen of the World!

I just found the irony rather amusing. Don't you?

Beginnings and Endings

2009-05-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

Have you given much thought to how much of parenting consists of the balance between beginnings and endings? It struck me the other day. I think that perhaps the early years of children have more of these. It seems that nothing stays the same for long.

Right now...

Gracie is ready to begin potty-training and end diaper wearing

I am waiting for Lily to begin sleeping through the night

I hope to end swaddling Lily while she sleeps

Miss Rose is ending her first school experience and will begin actual Kindergarten in the fall.

I suppose it keeps life fresh. It truly is a never-ending cycle of starts and stops.

At times it can feel overwhelming and confusing as you, the parent, figures it all out. Sure, much of it happens naturally over time. But we also play active rolls in each process.

Being a parent is a big deal. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of thought and effort.

And I love it.

Renaming

2009-05-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not exactly sure when I created this blog. Maybe about a year and a half ago. I didn't give too much thought to it's name, although I did want it to represent me. I just went back and checked and I began in August of 2007 and gave this explaination for my blog name. And it still holds true.

However, I've been considering a name change. Just for the fun of it.

I think something having to do with "Three Ring Circus" is my top runner right now, if I decide to go ahead with it.

That is how I explain life to many right now. Each of my daughters has their own ring. Bean could be the Ringmaster and I could be the Ringmother. We are just a bunch of clowns most of the time!

In my head I have all these creative ideas for design, but lack the talent or know-how to make it happen. And definately the money to pay someone to design for me.

Or we could be Organized Chaos. That is my life, my house, my office, my children. I AM an organized person. I AM a planner and at times a bit of a control freak. (Okay, Bean would probably say most of the time). But my organization is not always so organized.

My desk at work usually has several piles on it. Don't even go into the drawers! My home is unfortunately full of it's own piles. In 7 years of marriage, we've yet to establish a good system for keeping our mail and paperwork contained. In our defense, we've lived in 5 homes in that amount of time. Maybe after we've been in our current home for a few years we'll have a system. Don't hold your breathe though.

And yes, often there is more chaos than organization. But we try.

Or we could be the Jumping Beans. Bean, Beana, and the Sprouts. Makes me think of the show on Disney, Johnny and the Sprites! Or the Frijoles since 4/5 of us have hispanic genes and the other 1/5 actually speaks Spanish and enjoys going to Mexico.

Who knows. I may just decide to stay No Crying Mama who blogs at No Crying Over Spilled Milk. Or one day you may visit here and be redirected to a new web address!

Weekly Blog...

2009-05-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

That seems to be what this has turned into. I do enjoy blogging, so I will take what I can get.

Life is going on...the girls are growing...every day is organized chaos. Chaos that I love and thrive on!

Miss Rose is finishing up her EAK class. Last week her class read Teddy Bear Picnic and we were invited to join them on Friday for a picnic. I brought a picnic lunch for all of us and we enjoyed a good time. My sister happened to be visiting, so it was nice to not have to wrangle all three plus lunch by myself!

Gracie is a character as usual. Last Thursday she was especially making me laugh. She was still in her jammies (a nightgown with non-matching pants underneath). I went to the car to get something and next thing I know, she's walking out to me with a bright green mesh laundry basket in one hand and an oven mitt on the other. Why? Why not of course!! She also tried to stuff the same basket in the bottom part of our armoire. I'm not sure what her plan was there.

The same day Gracie came to me in the kitchen and said "I need scissors." Really? You are barely two. It scares me that you know enough about scissors to ask for them. Of course I did not comply. I did some interrogation and she had a plastic toy that she thought looked like a sandwich and needed to be cut. Oh yeah, and I also found her pushing Lily in the swing saying "swing up higher." This one, she keeps me on my toes!

Lily has mellowed some, but she still makes her opinion known. We still swaddle for naps and nighttime, which I hope she won't need much longer. She wakes one time at night to nurse and I'm still waiting for that one night she just sleeps through.

Here are some recent photos from a family baby shower and Lily's dedication.

Warning: Photo Overload Ahead

Have you seen a cuter little girl??

Sister love

This photo is blurry...but it's a great representation of our family. Notice Miss Rose hiding her face in me because she was embarrasssed to be on the platform. Gracie is being energetic. Do notice though that Miss Rose is wearing a SKIRT!

I love this photo! I love my baby girl.

A pretty decent family photo if you ask me.

These are my two sisters. Notice how DIFFERENT we all look. I think my girls are going to be like this too. Some familial resemblances but individual looks.

Can't you just get lost in those blue eyes? I'm still hoping her eyes remain blue!

Not Me! Monday

2009-05-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've enjoyed readings entries in this blog carnival and decided it's finally time for me to join in.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

There are plenty of things I did not do this week.

I most certainly did not consider using a #1-2 diaper on my 2yr old instead of the #4 she normally wears because she was poopy and I didn't find her diaper on first pass in the diaper bag. Lucky for her (and me I'm sure) I found one on second pass.

I did not discontinue applying the antibiotic cream to Lily's eyes after just a few days simply because I forgot--and her pink eye had cleared up.

That realization did not hit this weekend because her pink eye did not return. And after re-starting the ointment, after two applications, I did not forget the next two, again. Not me.

While out shopping, and waiting in a 20min line at Nordstrom Rack, I did not just decide to nurse Lily in line.

Even though Lily had a horrendous reaction to the last dairy I had several weeks ago, I did not decide to experiment just one more time (she's three months now, so she could have outgrown the sensitivity) because a non-fat, extra hot, decaf caramel macchiato was calling my name. I did not pay the price with extra fussiness and an increase in projectile vomit.

I did not bribe my 5yr old several times with offers of treats and movies in the car this week. I certainly don't do that weekly. My children love to comply and I don't need to bribe them.

Bean did not have to restrain himself from laughter when Miss Rose was throwing a huge fit because we made her come inside from wrestling matches with the neighbor boys where she was about to wrestle a boy who was her "greatest challenge."

I did not check our online credit card statement for a work-related charge, only to see that Bean had ordered me a cake from my favorite bakery ever. I am not enjoying the last piece of cake as I blog.

And in conclusion, I definately did not get an iphone for mother's day. That would be an extravagant expense and Bean did not decide to spoil me with it anyways.

Nope, not me.

(Pretty good for my first try at this, huh?)

Crazy 8's

2009-05-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

It's so difficult to have the brainpower to blog at the end of a day. I'm understanding why mama's with new babies don't blog as often, especially ones that work!

My IRL long-time friend at Triple Blessing tagged me, and I think I can find the brainpower to complete these lists!

8 Things I Look Forward To

1. Having our new home put together completely (I think it may take months)
2. Having my parents master suite completed and them moved in
3. Relaxing on the couch with Bean at the end of the day
4. Shopping for clothes in my normal size
5. Being able to eat dairy again
6. Date night with hubby tomorrow
7. Holding the baby and having my bigger girls clamor to be next to me
8. Seeing my sisters when they visit

8 Things I Did Yesterday

1. Took Miss Rose to school, Gracie to my mom's and Lily to work with me
2. Worked (I actually accomplished quite a bit)
3. Spent lots of money at Target stocking the girls up for summer
4. Double Shredded-I was feeling the need for more of a workout, so I did Level 3 and then Level 2.
5. Bathed all three kids (with Bean's assistance)
6. Laundry
7. Drank a non-fat milk caramel macchiato (baby was a bit fussy and more spit-up today, but I needed the splurge)
8. Watched Grey's Anatomy

8 Things I Wish I Could Do

1. Sew and be crafty!
2. Make money from home
3. Read more often
4. Run every day (or almost every day)
5. Clean my house more often (really clean, not just pick up)
6. Sleep 7 hours straight!
7. Wear my normal clothes
8. Spend more time with friends

8 "Grown Up" Shows I Watch

1. American Idol
2. The Biggest Loser
3. Amazing Race
4. Grey's Anatomy
5. The Office
6. Ellen
7. Say Yes To The Dress
8. House-hunting and home decorating shows

8 Bloggers Tagged For The Task

1. Jewels @ The Good Life

2. Julie @ The Gross Family

3. Beloved Mama

4. Morgan @ Adventures In Diapering

5. Jen @ Colorado Anderson's

6. Tricia @ Our Adventurous Life

7. The Unlikely Pastor's Wife

I only have 7 I can tag! Triple Blessing and I have too many blogger friends in common and she already tagged them :)

Favorite Things: Brownies

2009-05-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a LONG time since I blogged about one of my favorite things.

I LOVE brownies. Especially the ooey-gooey ones. Bean is a fabulous brownie-baker. He always knows the right moment to pull them out of the oven. They are slightly underdone, but continue cooking with the heat of the pan as they sit out. Duncan Hines and Ghiradelli are my favorite brands.

But right now, eating brownies is counteractive to my quest to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. Bean and I can seriously finish 1/3 of a pan of brownies in one sitting.

That's why I am SO thankful for NO PUDGE BROWNIES. When I am in need of something sweet, I can make a single serving for just 110 calories. If I have enough Weight Watchers points left, I might make 1.5 or 2 servings. And sometimes I throw a small handful of chocolate chips in to make it a bit more gooey. Even with these changes, the amount of calories I'm consuming is considerably less than eating brownies with Bean.

I purchase mine at Henry's usually. Although I'm pretty sure some grocery stores and maybe Trader Joe's carry them as well. Just make sure you pick up some fat free vanilla yogurt too as that's what the recipe calls for. Sounds weird I know, but it works.

Happy brownie eating!

Dad of the Year Award

2009-05-03T21:47:00.000-07:00

I always love to brag on Bean and what a great dad and husband he is.

He dressed the girls this morning so they could leave with me for church. They love to come early and get donuts and go to the early service Sunday school. I have to be out of the door at 7:15am, so assistance is needed!

All morning Gracie kept falling down. In fact, a few people commented on it, asking why she was falling. I had no idea. If I wasn't holding her hand, she'd fall. She took a couple good nose dives.

I was called in to change her diaper and as she was up on the changing table (which she is pretty much too big for...potty training coming soon) I noticed...

Her shoes on the wrong feet.

Bless Bean's little Mexican heart.

In the rush of the morning, he put her shoes on the wrong feet.

Which explains all the falling.

He's still dad of the year though!

A Typical Sunday

2009-04-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Want a peak into a typical Sunday for us? Let me re-cap this week's for you.

5am--baby wanted to nurse.

530am--I got up to exercise (wanted to make sure I got it in...but I was yawning a lot during the first service, so I may forego the early workout on Sundays)

630am--girls woke as I was getting ready, interacted some with them--but Bean got up to dress them.

See, I need to be at church at 7:30am on Sundays. Miss Rose likes to come with me to get a donut and go to her early Sunday School class. Gracie is old enough to not want to be left out, so she usually comes too

7am--baby wakes again--I decide to do a quick nursing and save the bottle for Bean to feed her later

7:07--Bean decides he might as well come early with us and just take care of the baby at church

We scramble to finish gathering everything and get out of the door

7:21--finally leaving, about 5min late

7:22--I get 1/2 block down the street and realize I left the coffee pot on in the mayhem to leave (I'm a creature of habit and throw off my routine and everything gets messed up!)

7:37--get to church, I am late, but make it in for the closing prayer of our brief staff meeting

7:45am--I have a few tasks to complete prior to the first service. Bean buys the girls donuts, which they eat after their applesauce

8:00am--girls just want to be with me, but I'm working.

8:05am--Lily is fussing, she's still in her jammies which are now spit-up and drool soaked. I pick her up out of the carseat to find she's exploded all over her jammies and the carseat. I think all the poop shot out of the diaper.

8:06am--there are no wipes in the diaper bag. Bean runs over to the nursery to borrow some.

8:10am--Lily is finally changed. Gracie now stinks. Bean takes big girls to Sunday School where he changes Gracie.

8:30-9:30--we fight with Lily to keep her asleep during service. It's naptime, but she's fidgety. Finally she conks out

10am--Bean is teaching a little girl guitar, Miss Rose and her cousin are telling me of their plan for cousin to stay with us and come over for the day, Gracie is tired and clingy, Lily is ready to eat--I am running the Information Booth at church.

10:10am--a friend is feeding Lily her bottle, Miss Rose and cousin are off to SS and Gracie is with me

10:30am--Bean takes Gracie to her class, he leaves with Lily to go grocery shopping

11am--our number pops up...Gracie is poopy again...they don't change diapers in the 2yr old class

12:20--I'm done praying with people at the alter (great service and message!) and getting the girls. They are all the last ones in their class (always the pastor's kids)

12:30--I bribe the girls (my 2 and their cousin) with Breathsavers to sit calmly while I finish up my duties.

12:40--leaving church, Bean calls with a screaming Lily in the background

1pm--home, feeding Lily, Bean's feeding the girls

2pm--Bean leaves to go back to church for his custodial gig

3:30pm--Gracie wakes, is pretty out of it

4:30pm--Gracie pukes all over and has a slight fever (teething related most likely)

There is a bit more, but it's pretty mundane.

THAT is my crazy Sunday!! It's pretty much always like that with a few variables. It's a unique situation since I'm working on Sundays but my family gets to be with me. And because Bean is pretty involved with worship on Sundays, it's just an entire family affair. We were spoiled the year we lived next to the church because I would have babysitters come over and help with the kids when we had early mornings.

My kids do love going to church and being there (even if Miss Rose won't dress up!) and I am so thankful for that. As they get older, they may not want to be there so much "extra" but that's okay. Right now it's great that they feel safe and comfortable and enjoy being there and going to their classes.

This is why though, it's a bit crazy at times, to be a pastor and the mother of small children! (Oh and I forgot to mention the short break I had to take during the 2nd service to go pump...that too comes with the territory right now)

Shred Update

2009-04-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

April is quickly coming to an end--which I can't believe!

I've been pretty faithfully shredding. I missed a few days last week due to travel. There have been many days I didn't want to do it or could have found excuses not to, but I have made myself. Even waking before 6am to make sure I do it.

I've found that mornings are much better and it's worth it to get up early because I may not get it done later in the day. Evenings are especially out.

Jillian Michaels will kick your butt! I just moved up to Level 3 yesterday and wow--a whole new intensity. There are a couple moves I just can't master yet--I don't have the physical ability. But it gives me something to work towards.

While I haven't seen any results on the scale, my body definately is changing. Once I can get the scale to start moving ( a whole other topic) I think I'll be even more pleased. I've banished desserts from our house this next week in an attempt to get the scale moving.

I'm looking forward to the end of the month because I won't have the mental pressure to do the workout daily. But I know that I am going to keep it as a part of my exercise line up. I have a race coming up in June, so I need to get back to running to prepare. But on the days I work, even running can be a challenge, so it's great to know I can wake early, Shred for 20 min and have a great workout!

The Summer of the Dress

2009-04-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

I've never been a "girly-girl." My brother was just 18 months younger than me and we played together a ton growing up. I was very into my baby dolls, but most of my time was spent outside playing pioneer, Davey Crockett, cowboys and Indians and the like.

However, I always enjoyed getting dressed up for church on Sundays. Most of my dresses were hand me downs, but I loved them. I remember during my fifth grade year I was really into carrying a purse, especially to church. I think all I had in it was a few one dollar bills and some lip gloss. For some reason, the feminist in me reared her head and I refused to carry a purse for many years after. I much preferred large wallets or purse backpacks. And when I think about some of the dresses and outfits I put together for church over the years...I was in great need of fashion help!

I fear that even though I'm more balanced now, Miss Rose has picked up a little too much of my tomboy-independent-girls rock attitude. She is extremely opposed to wearing dresses or even skirts. She wants to wear jeans, old tshirts and her beat up shoes to church on Sundays. She wants to wear that all of the time.

About 50% of the time I don't want to fight and let her choose her own clothes for school. The other 50% I risk the argument and put my foot down on her clothing. When she is much older I know she'll look back at photos and ask me why I let her dress that way. I figure if I try to downplay it, she'll eventually grow out of it.

When it comes to my own everyday clothing, I am definately about comfort and function. I really only dress up--complete with hair and full makeup--for work and church on Sundays. Even some of those days are more casual or thrown together--depending on how much time I had. Of course, I've dressed Miss Rose with that same attitude--function and comfort.

Perhaps that was a mistake. Perhaps I should have embraced her girly side more earlier in her life. I'm sure she'll find it--just like I did. I'm all about a great purse and good shoes now. When the occasion calls for it of course. Not just to grocery shop.

Gracie however, is still young and impressionable. She has quite an opinion on her clothes--which Miss Rose didn't have at two. Gracie has her favorite jackets (jack-jacks or jacky as she calls it). If I choose the wrong one, she'll go to the closet and say "no, this one." She LOVES to stay in her jammies. Shoes are also a big thing. Last week it was the new white sandels I bought her for Easter. This week it's black little ballet flats (which she wore with too big of socks and jeans a few days ago).

So I've decided for Gracie, this is the summer of the dress. I'm going to put her in cute summer dresses as much as posssible! The right ones are just as cool as shorts and a tank top. Makes diaper changes (and potty training soon) easier too.

Who knows, in another year Miss Rose will probably be all about dressing up and I won't be able to get Gracie out of her tennis shoes. Good think Lily is coming up behind them. I'll have another girl to dress for a few more years before she can make up her own mind.

A friend gave me a whole bunch of clothes her daughter had outgrown for Gracie--and what do you know---there were several casual dresses. It's meant to be!

Frankly, I'm on the hunt for some cute dresses myself. They can be much more flattering than shorts, especially for a body still recovering from two pregnancies in two years.

A Photo Update

2009-04-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

Clearly, blogging time is slim to none right now. Which is a bummer because I have (what I think are) some pretty funny blog topics in mind. I guess they will have to wait.

But for now, here's a little update in photos of life lately.

I know I already shared about Gracie's birthday, but here's a bit more.

Our little monkey Gracie turned 2...

Mama made an attempt at a creative cake...cupcakes that looked like Curious George's balloons.

Gracie had so much fun (during her nap time) that she conked out on the couch minutes after we got home.

Gracie went to her first Easter Egg Hunt.

Miss Rose is an Egg Hunt pro!

Bean and his firsts two girls. Yes, that's a scowl on Gracie's face. Why, we're not sure. Sometimes she just decides she's bent out of shape.

Mama and the "big" girls.

Gracie striking a pose.

No, it's not choking...it's sisterly love. I decided not to fight Miss Rose about wearing a dress and settled for a cute top and capri's on Easter.

And little Lily showing off her Easter duds. Yes, she looks like she has clown feet. No, she doesn't. It's just the fact that her shoes are a bit too big (is there a such thing as shoes that fit a newborn?) and the angle of the shot.

I learned that if I want a photo of all the kids together...it's better to try on a day other than the holiday! It wasn't worth waking Lily to get her in on the photos at church...and by the time church was over we were all done! My mom does have a shot on her camera of all of us, but I haven't seen it yet.

Lily has begun to develop a bedtime around 9pm...so maybe, just maybe I'll be able to blog more.

Shredding Update...

I'm still at it! I had to miss 3 days due to a minister's conference. I brought the DVD and a small DVD player with great intentions, but I spent very little time in my room and was of course caring for Lily too--so no shredding. I was having some issues with my back, so it probably was good that I rested. Level 2 is a real tail-kicker, but I like it. I'm still not sure how much weight I've lost, if any. My body is really resisting losing right now. I guess it's just from nursing and the post-pregnancy adjustments. I think I have lost inches though and I'm feeling more toned and strong. Next week...Level 3!

My baby is 2!!

2009-04-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

Is it odd that I still think of Gracie as my baby, although she no longer is the youngest? I guess if she's the baby, Lily is the newborn. Perhaps the strangest thing for me today was the fact that my baby turned 2, and I already have another one. And I'm not the only one thinking that! Several people at church mentioned it to me. Life is a beautiful thing and I'm so happy that God has blessed me with three gorgeous daughters!

Gracie loves monkeys, so we had a Curious George birthday. She's been talking about her "monkey birthday" for a few weeks now. She has a slight obsession with "sprinkled donuts" and when she saw the cupcakes with sprinkles today, she kept asking for "sprinkled donut."

A "small" gathering for us is close to 50 people (including kids and babies of which there are a lot). Seriously--the majority are family and then a few close friends who are more like family. We had the party at a park and everyone just hung out, chatted, played some whiffle ball and enjoyed the beautiful weather we were blessed with today.

Unfortunately Gracie was a bit tired going into the party and it was during her naptime. But she still seemed to enjoy it and realize it was for her. She just wasn't as animated as a rested Gracie would have been. It was fun to celebrate her!

I had planned to post her birth story on her birthday...but it isn't quite finished. So I will try to do that tomorrow. She made quite an entrance! In fact, none of my children's deliveries have been standard. They make a statement with the circumstances surrounding their arrival to the world.

Probably a very telling fact. My girls like to make their mark and let you know who they are and what they want. Hmmm....unfortunately it sounds a lot like their mama, I will admit it. How did that happen?

What a night, what a Champ

2009-04-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night was one for the books in our house. After getting off the phone with a nurse about 10:30pm, Bean went out to purchase some fever-reducer administered other than orally, for Gracie who wasn't keeping a thing down. She was burning up at 103 by then.

After he returned home, the medicine was administered and we waited for it to take effect. Gracie was finally a bit more comfortable and we headed to bed by midnight. We decided to put Gracie in the pack-n-play at the end of our bed in case she vomited or needed attention during the night. Lily of course was next to me in the co-sleeper.

We did not get much sleep. Gracie ended up in between us most of the night for comfort. Bean was A CHAMP and primarily took care of her. I was passed out from being so tired. It probably didn't help that I had been awake at 5:30am that morning to Shred. I still was up a few times with Gracie or Lily.

Let me take a minute to brag on Bean. He is such a great father and contributer to the family. He does whatever is needed, wakes during the night when I need assistance with something, runs out for medicine late at night. Bean went into work late on Thursday so he could take Miss Rose to school while I stayed home with the sick girl.

I'm happy to report Gracie is doing MUCH better. She wanted to be with me on the couch all morning on Thursday, but around noon her fever broke and she got off the couch some to play and eat bland foods. I guess it was one of those 24-hour viruses but so far the rest of us are healthy.

SHREDDING
I'm done with Day 3 of The Shred. There is definite soreness in several areas of my body. For some reason my calves are the worst. It hurts to just walk around and going up stairs--KILLER! Hopefully in a day or two they'll adjust to the exercises. The routine is getting a bit easier--but I know in 7 more days we move up to Level 2 and it will be a new soreness!

I've decided to not weigh myself this entire month. I usually get on the scale several times a week...which isn't the best. On one hand it does hold you accountable--but on the other hand it can be quite depressing when you think there should be a change and there isn't. In the last 4 weeks my body has changed, but the scale hasn't. Hopefully when I weigh in on May 1st there will be some change on the scale--but really I'm counting on my clothes being looser!

Are you serious?

2009-04-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

I came home this afternoon to a lethargic Gracie, burning up with fever on the couch. I had seen her at lunchtime and she was a bit out of it and didn't want to eat. She's cutting her back molars, so I gave her Motrin and figured she'd perk up.

It was not to be so.

She clearly felt terrible. She hardly tolerated touch and just laid on the couch. I gave her motrin, which she vomited up with the conents of her stomach from the day, less than 30 minutes later.

Bean brought her to the bathtub where she vomited a bit more. Poor little thing kept saying "messy" in her feverish, quivering voice.

I quickly cancelled my responsibilities at church for the night, but Miss Rose was very upset to have to miss her class. Thankfully a friend who lives near us was already at church--so Bean took her and the friend brought her home.

This is the glamorous life of a parent. Bean has been right here the whole night. Lily isn't running a fever any longer, but has strong opinions about being held.

Last I checked, her temperature was 102.9. I'm hoping it's a simple virus that will pass quickly. Since she was a baby, whenever Gracie runs a fever she usually vomits. It sometimes seems more related to the fever then to whatever illness she has.

It can't always be like this, right? It's just a bad spell. Everyone will get healthy and we'll find a routine.

Gracie turns 2 on Sunday and we have a party planned. I certainly hope everyone is healthy and whole by then.

Shredding
I did it this morning! I was actually able to get out of bed at 5:30am, which is just 30 minutes earlier than normal on a workday for me.

People pretty much think I'm crazy for getting up so early to exercise. In some ways I agree. But I've learned over the past few years that exercise has the ability to keep me sane. I'm sure it's related to the endorphins and adrenaline. Plus my state of mind can also be closely related to how I feel about my body.

So sacrificing 30minutes of morning sleep is well worth it. This has been a busy, crazy day--but all day long I've felt good that I already exercised.

Trust me though, I won't be getting up EVERY morning at 5:30. The days I'm home with my babies, I'm sure I'll exercise later in the morning or afternoon.

Tidbits

2009-03-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

It's difficult to blog as much as I would like to. The evenings after the girls are in bed is usually my blogging time...but lately that's also when Lily is most fussy and I'm holding, nursing, shushing, rocking, swaying, bouncing, burping and doing whatever else it takes to make her happy. I'm up later than I should be tonight and Bean is holding her (she's asleep!) so here are some tidbits.

Yes...I've decided to just call the baby Lily on my blog. The other girls go by nicknames--partially for anonymity, partially because they have somewhat uncommon names and I am rather possessive of them! But Lily is just Lily...

Miss Rose is on round 2 of antibiotics for a nasty sinus infection. When the girls had sinus infections at Christmas time, Gracie needed two rounds--this time it's Miss Rose's turn. The first antibiotic she was on seems to have caused an allergic reaction and we've been fighting hives for over a week now.

And the sickness just never ends! Lily has had a cold for at least 3 weeks. Last week I took her in and the dr. felt like it would probably work itself through but gave me some guidelines for monitoring her. She developed a fever this afternoon--so into Urgent Care we went. The diagnosis is an ear infection and antibiotics. I feel terrible that my 9-week old is having her first introduction to antibiotics, but I guess that's what happens when you have two older sisters. Unfortunately I know a few families who are fighting illness after illness like we are.

The 30-Day Shred starts tomorrow! I'm scared and excited. I think it's majorly going to kick my behind...but I thrive on being sore from exercise. I just hope my pregnancy-weakened back holds up. Of course I would choose a Wednesday--my busiest day--to start. Which means I must drag myself out of bed at 5:30am to make sure I fit it in.

Life with three kids still continues to challenge us. Nights are a whirlwind. When I got home from Urgent Care tonight Bean said "I got a taste of your life tonight, and it's hard!" Our top priority is being good parents--which means some of the other things slide, and that's what we are having to get used to. Bean and I are typical oldest children who like our ducks in a row. But we're lucky if all the ducks (the children and other things of life) are just in our line of vision.

I can't believe Lily is already two months old. And Gracie turns 2 on Sunday. Next week I'll make sure to share some new photos.

Life is zooming by.

Can we get that "to go" please?

2009-03-27T22:14:00.001-07:00

Apparently we STILL haven't learned the limitations of three small children. You'd think after the Costco and picture fiascos--I'd know to just stay home where the craziness can be contained.

But oh no, when Miss Rose requested a dinner out last night, and we had a coupon to a sit-down pizza place, we were blinded by our fatigue at the end of a week and the thought of someone serving us and cleaning up after us. We piled the kids in the minivan and headed to Sammy's Woodfired Pizza.

I must preface this story with the fact that LC has had a difficult week. It seems mostly digestive and I'll be talking to the dr. next week about reflux and the possibility that she needs medication. I am not a fan of medicating such a small baby, but the girl has been miserable. Long periods of inconsolable crying and obvious pain. Even though she's been going to the chiropractor and even though I've been adjusting my diet.

It seemed that LC fell asleep in the car. Well, she did. And she stayed asleep as we were seated and ordered. Miss Rose, who wanted to go in the first place, became impatient for her food. Gracie wanted to sit with me rather than in the highchair.

The baby woke...and was once again inconsolable. Bean took her outside to walk and hopefully calm her while I wrangled the other girls. He returned not long after, and LC was still crying. He says it was 20 minutes later. I guess the time flew as I drew pictures with Gracie, had Miss Rose write the alphabet, retrieved dropped crayons and the like.

LC calmed for a bit in my arms, but it didn't last. So it was my turn to go outside. Meanwhile Miss Rose spilled her Sprite and Gracie was yelling for me. I could hear her through the glass door calling "Mommy." I went back inside and the decision was quickly made to just get our food to go.

Gracie, LC and I went to the van while Bean and Miss Rose waited a few more minutes for the food to be packaged up. I will say, in spite of it all, we remained rather calm and were able to laugh as we drove home.

Apparantly you shouldn't venture to an actual restaurant with three small children, especially a new baby who is having tummy problems. We won't be making that mistake again for a long time. We'll stick to Rubios and Pick Up Stix for our dinners "out" and even then, we'll probably eat it at home.

So, we've joined the ranks of those with crying, out of control children who had to leave a restaurant. At least most of it was a baby who can't help herself yet. It's still pretty funny though.

Here's to hoping I WON'T have a similar story next week. I WILL learn my lesson!

Praying...

2009-03-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

This is just one family's journey that happens to be very public. Just think of how many other families are walking through similar shadowed valley's. Each time I check for an update and pray for Stellen, I say a pray for all the sick babies and children in this world and their families.

Won't you be so glad when we all join together in that wonderful place where there are no more tears? I certainly can't wait.

Hug your little ones and kiss your babies. We are blessed.

A Bit of a Bust

2009-03-23T13:53:00.001-07:00

I will admit that I haven't gotten very good at planning things that involve three children. I don't seem to allot enough time or always think through. I guess I still think I have two children!!

Friday, I had a distastrous few hours. We were in desparate need of diapers and wipes. I decided to make a quick trip to Costco before I picked Miss Rose up from school. By the time I picked up a few snack items, diapers and wipes and made my way to the front, everyone in the city had decided to check out at Costco at 11am on a Friday morning. Every line was at least 4 carts deep and the carts were full. There was no way I was going to make it out of there in time to pick up Miss Rose.

I had already given Gracie a snack bar from a box I was purchasing. So I HAD to pay. LC was screaming and in my arms, Gracie was in the cart--yelling or singing, which are her favorite things to do in stores lately. People were looking at me with such sympathy and a few even offered to let me go ahead of them--bless their hearts! I found a manager who agreed to save my cart so I could return for my purchases.

Rushed to pick up Miss Rose, returned to Costco where I had to nurse LC in the parking lot while the girls watched a DVD in the minvan. (I never really wanted a DVD player in our van, but I do admit there have been several times it's come in very handy, though I do limit it's use.) Made our purchases, and headed to the food court for lunch because it was getting late. I was so fried after all that!!

Today I attempted to get portraits taken of the kids. Miss Rose just turned 5, Gracie turns 2 in a few weeks and I love newborn photos. LC was not cooperating. The big girls did well on their own, but due to LC's crying and the girls losing their attention span--the photos I wanted of the three of them didn't turn out. Nor did the photos of the three girls and I. All my makeup and hair-fixing for nothing!

I settled for a portrait enhancement featuring an individual photo of each girl with a nice border. I guess I'll be going back in a month or two when LC will be more comfortable laying in the various poses.

Did I mention Miss Rose and Gracie running around like crazy hyenas while we tried to get LC's photos done? The photographer suggested I nurse her for a bit to see if she would calm down--meanwhile Gracie was jetting toward the escalator at full speed. For a 2-yr old, she can run pretty fast. The photographer chased her down for me. I'm pretty sure I was providing birth control to all who were observing the circus.

But it's my circus, and I love it.

Reunited and it feels so good (mostly)

2009-03-22T20:39:00.001-07:00

No, I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about running. I actually ran 3 times last week! My doctor said I could start back to exercising again, so you know I jumped on that train fast! I started walking a few miles at a time about three weeks after my c-section. Just trying to keep my body moving and limber.

My runs were just 30 minutes or so. But that was enough! I can definately tell I haven't run in about 8 weeks. But I ran 3 miles in about 35min. at the lake last week, which isn't bad considering. I did some intervals (run 2min, walk 1min) the last half of that 3 miles.

I still absolutely love running, but I have a new appreciation for it. I understand again why some people don't care for it, or have trouble staying motivated. It's HARD when your body isn't used to it. Mentally it felt great for me, but my body screamed at me a bit. I was surprised at how sore my legs were after just a few miles.

It's also amazing to be able to go out my front door and go for a neighborhood run. Our former home was in a hilly, unsafe area--so I always had to drive to the lake to run. Yesterday I had a 30 minute window to exercise and I just walked out the door, ran for 30 minutes and was home (greeted by a crying baby who woke early to eat!) The lake is just a 10min drive, so I'll still run there. But in a pinch, the neighborhood will do.

Now I just need a new Nano so I can use my Nike+ I recieved for Christmas. Of course the iPod decided to start malfunctioning around the same time. Come on tax return!

Back to Work

2009-03-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

Obviously I've been a bit absent this past week. It was my first week back to my full work schedule. It actually went really well--but didn't leave much blogging time. Which is a shame because I have some great material.

Although it was a full week and tiring at times, I confirmed that I thrive on routine. Hmmm...that must be why my kids have routines and don't do well when we deviate! My state of mind was much better this past week and my fatigue levels weren't as high. I didn't really miss taking naps.

Baby LC was pretty well behaved with Mama at work. Although I don't think she'll spend 6 months with me at work like Gracie did, I think we can hang for several more weeks--which means the world to me. A huge blessing is for the first time I'm actually able to pump more than she needs in a bottle right now. She's getting a few bottles of Mama's milk each week as there are times I have meetings and a bottle feeding is more appropriate--or my busy Sunday mornings. I've been a rather poor pumper with the other girls. I usually had to pump twice to get enough for one bottle. I didn't start pumping quite as soon with them, so I hope my supply is getting established and I can continue the trend. I'm trying to get a stash in the freezer for when LC isn't with me.

The big girls (I can't believe I have to consider Gracie a "big" girl) have sinus infections and are on antibiotics. I learned something interesting from my pediatrician. Infants don't develop sinuses until after three months and it's very rare for a newborn to get this sort of infection because she still has my antibodies. I wonder if I could get a 5yr old and a 2yr old to use a Neti pot.

I have been cleared to start exercising--whoo hoo!! I've been out (in my new neighborhood!) for a few short runs. I can definately tell I haven't run in two months, but it felt so good to be out there. I think this weekend I may try for a 4-miler.

Dairy is no longer a part of my diet :( LC is doing much better since I've eliminated it. I'm finding it challenging to eat enough calories from healthful foods. At the end of the night tonight I needed at least 500 more calories. I settled for a bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar. I miss ice cream!!

We are excited that Bean's schedule at his 2nd job has changed. He's only working Friday and Sunday nights for longer shifts. It's going to make a huge difference to have him home all the weeknights.

Maybe I'll have more blogging time with him home!

Sunrise, Sunset

2009-03-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the movie, Fiddler on the Roof? I'm sure we've all seen it or parts of it. Probably the most well-known song from the movie is "Sunrise, Sunset" where parents sing about their children who are now grown up and it seems like just yesterday they were little. I really only know one line from the song--actually just part of a song, "Is this the little girl I used to..." I don't know the rest.

But I look at Miss Rose and think--is this the little girl I used to dress cute and dream of her playing dolls and house just like I did? Granted yes--she's grown a lot in 5 years--she's Amazon Child, remember? She was only "little" for about 6 months!

What I didn't expect was for her to so whole-heartedly embrace a tomboy status. I'm the first to admit I'm NOT a girly-girl, nor do I treat my daughters that way. Sometimes I think maybe that's why God gave me daughters to raise. He knew I would raise them with balance, to be realistic and not over-emotional or dramatic. Or at least I would attempt to. I do "cute" but not frilly with my girls.

A friend at church yesterday commented that Gracie was so "girly" and Miss Rose was so "not"!

Somehow, Miss Rose has taken this to the extreme. Until she was about 4, I could pick out her clothes each day and her Sunday dresses. She didn't have much of an opinion. This past summer she developed an opinion. Shorts and tank tops are the wardrobe of choice...regardless of the weather. Miss Rose detests jeans. She'd much rather wear "comfy" pants with elastic waistbands.

Sundays are a HUGE fight in our house. I don't want to make her wear "church clothes" every week. I figure that would only make her fight me more and for longer. But I do insist upon nice clothes--not play clothes. Sometimes I commit the crime of insisting on jeans. (She has the CUTEST pair from the GAP outlet. I think it's a crime she won't wear them more often).

Oh, and don't even think about doing anything with her hair. Miss Rose has beautiful (albeit a bit crazy) long, curly hair. She consents to a daily spritzing of water and gel to calm it down. But again, barrettes and rubber bands are fuel for an argument. Although I do insist upon it once or twice a week. I've gotta remind her who is in charge, right?

I was a tomboy, partially because my brother was just 18 months younger and my constant playmate. I loved my baby dolls though! I would make my brother play baby dolls for a while, then I'd go outside and get dirty with him. Although I was a tomboy, I loved dressing up for church on Sundays. I do not remember being adamant about nothing girl like Miss Rose.

We must ask for the Boy Happy Meal at McD's. And any stickers or character band-aids or themed toys must be Spiderman or Batman. Bike helmet--black please. Her favorite pasttime lately--shooting dart shotguns with our 9-yr old neighbor. Thanks to her Uncle for getting her the dart double barrel shotgun for Christmas.

I know that she will grow out of it. Last summer she was wearing just her underware almost every day (that combined with her crazy hair = the "Mowgli" nickname bestoyed by one of her aunts) and now she is VERY private. So things do change. At least I have two other girls to dress cute for church. I have at least a good 3-4 years before ALL of them have their own opinions!

Cick photo to view slideshow!

Miss Rose!

Will every Wednesday be like this?

2009-03-05T14:22:00.000-08:00

We ventured back to church last night as a family of 5. What an adventure. Seriously. If every Wednesday is like this, I think Bean and I may deconstruct one of these weeks!

The church serves a dinner before everything starts for $2/person--which makes going to church easier. After we ate dinner Bean took LC in the stroller to get our group ready. The girls took off with their cousins and uncle and I followed shortly after.

When I got to the children's wing...no Gracie.

Ran back over and searched all over...still no Gracie. Someone saw me looking and pointed me in the direction of the sound booth. Gracie had apparently gone to find a private place to take care of her business...as well as adjust some levels and push buttons.

Thought I lost my cell phone...Bean went on a hunt for it, only to find that it was still in the van.

Changed the diaper, got everyone situated. About halfway through our small group, LC began to fuss. Bean took her out so I could continue. Saw him through the large windows walking back and forth, he came in for a diaper. Found out he had one of the nursery workers change it (he can't usually get her diaper on again before she pee's everywhere!). LC was having none of it though.

Went to the nursery and fed LC. Got the kids. Who ran around like crazy with the cousins. Finally gathered the children, their artwork from class, a few baby gifts and other paraphenalia. Made our way to the van. LC was NOT happy to be in the carseat again. She's used to being home at that time of night having her individual time with us.

Wrangled all the kids in the van, LC screaming, Miss Rose and Gracie trying to talk over them. Also managed several conversations with people who wanted to chat. LC screamed most of the way home. Miss Rose was hungry, Gracie was her wild self.

I think we managed to get the girls in bed within 20min of arriving home, which is pretty good. But they were in bed over an hour past their normal bedtime.

Really? Seriously now folks. This is why families give up on going to church mid-week. But it's kind of my job...and I like my kids going to their clubs...so we will make it work. But it's sure to provide some good material for my blog!

Frustrated!

2009-03-04T10:23:00.001-08:00

I try to keep a good attitude and not complain much. But sometimes things just stack up that are bugging me. So here are my frustrations as of late...

I'm frustrated!!

...I'm trying to watch what I'm eating, but the scale hasn't changed in more than a week. I guess I'm watching myself eat too much.

...I have issues with sugar. I like it too much. I need to fast it or something, but frankly I'm a nursing mom and I don't want to deprive myself right now. Plus--I'd rather learn self-control that I can use over the course of my life because I realistically will not give sugar up forever.

...My body constantly feels sore. My muscles ache. It's from carrying a baby, nursing a baby, doing dishes 3x a day because we don't have a dishwasher, sleeping with a baby in my bed, not exercising.

...I want to start exercising. I need to exercise. I need the endorphins.

...Some days I feel a bit of the baby blues. It's normal and just my hormones regulating. But me and emotions don't get alone well (which is why I'm the No Crying Mama). Hence why I want to exercise, for the endorphins, which will lift my spirits.

...I'm impatient with myself. I want to just go go go and get things done and continue to accomplish more on our home. There is still much to go through and get rid of and organize. But I'm not even 6 weeks past having a baby, by c-section. My energy levels just aren't back to normal. Which is okay. I just don't like it.

...I'm nervous about returning to work and having three children. I wouldn't change it for the world and I signed up for it. But I don't have to like it. I like my job, but I like my kids more. I want to be a minivan mom and join playgroups and go to the library and volunteer in classrooms and do fun stuff with my kids. It frustrates me that on my days off, I need to rest and recover from the craziness and there is a house to clean, laundry to fold, errands to run.

...Gracie has a hanging cold/cough/congestion--AGAIN. This girl gets sick and stays sick so much. I used to think it was because she was a petite little thing---but she's grown a lot lately and is looking much heartier. If it doesn't start to clear up, it's another $15 co-pay where I'm afraid they'll tell me it's viral and nothing they can do.

...LC has the same cold. Her nose isn't pouring like Gracie's, but poor little baby is cough and phlegmy. But of course she doesn't know how to clear it. She hacks and coughs and chokes and spits up mucous. Hers isn't too bad. But I'm watching her like a hawk to make sure she doesn't get RSV or have compromised breathing.

...I'm frustrated that I'm frustrated!

It will pass. It always does. Hopefully it's theraputic for me to put it out there. For every frustration I have, I can think of ways it could be worse. My problems are nothing compared to what some face on a daily basis. But some days I need to give myself permission to complain. So today, I have.

Adjustments for the Middle Child.

2009-03-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

Want to know what it's like to have a toddler in the house when you bring home a new baby? Here it is in photos.

Look Mama, the baby's hospital hat can fit me too! (notice the baby blankets piled at my feet on the floor. They are fun to play with)

How exactly does Mama use this to feed the baby? I love buckles and it has one, so let me try. (Mama did not capture the moment on film where I was using the pillow and nursing the stuffed lamb from my belly button)

Maybe I can use it for something else. A backrest while reading perhaps.

Some days I just want to hide. Or at least play hide and go seek.

It seems like just yesterday I was cuddled up in a baby seat. Just one more sit in the bouncer won't hurt, right? All covered up too, just like baby sister.

Let me get out all the doll paraphenalia. Clearly I don't fit IN the doll cradle, so I'll just lean against it and pile blankets all around.

Then again...maybe I'm too old for this baby stuff. I'll check out big sister's bike helmet. And Mama, I know you are busy with the new baby, but can you please dress me in pants that aren't highwaters? These are getting a bit small.

Even if I am adjusting, even if I am the middle child now...

I'm still the CUTEST thing ever!

(BTW...I apologize for the non-uniform spacing of the photos. I can never seem to get the photos to do what I want them to in Blogger...and that one photo just won't post the right way.)

No more guilt for Mama's

2009-03-01T15:23:00.001-08:00

Can you tell I'm feeling better? I've been a blogging maniac!

You simply must read the poem on MckMama's site.

You won't feel so guilty about the dishes in your sink, the laundry to be folded or the floors to be cleaned.

I'm not feeling guilty about the hour and a half I've spent web-surfing, because LC was snuggled up against my waist laying on a pillow.

I need your organization tips!!

2009-02-28T14:28:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading, you know we recently moved. For good. We bought a home and expect to be here for a long time. There are many great things about our home...and also a few challenges. One of the challenges is the size and layout.

We were in a house that was about 1500 square feet. We had two living areas, one of which we actually lived in (TV, couches etc) and the other was the girls' toys and other stuff (i.e. junk and clutter). The bedrooms were decent sized and each girl had their own room.

Our HOME is a little over 1100 square feet. We have one living area--a combined living room and dining room. The bedrooms are on the smaller side and Miss Rose and Gracie are sharing. The third bedroom is under construction and is being used for storage and baby stuff currently. Hopefully by this summer it will be a functional bedroom.

Bean and I are actually excited about the challenge of living in a smaller space. We didn't utilize the larger space too well. We'd rather have less clutter and a peaceful small home, than a large home full of stuff that is unused. Of course as the kids get older, we'll need less baby/toddler stuff and they will be more of a help in keeping it clean as well.

I desparately don't want a home that is full of clutter. I have a tendency to be a bit of a pack-rat. I like to save things and can be too sentimental. I am always worried that the minute I throw something away, I'll need or want it. In our living room we have one bookcase. Currently it's full of books (surprise, surprise). I plan to rearrange it to hold some baskets and nice storage boxes to help with organization.

How do you keep your home clutter free? How do you organize and store your children's toys? I need to get the girls' room to a point where they will go in there and play--but right now there is no organization to their stuff, so they don't spend much time in there.

I'm at a loss as to what to do with paperwork and bills and mail. We had a large counter in our other house that became a catch-all for this sort of thing. It was actually a huge eyesore and I don't miss having it. But as a working mom of three children, with a husband who has 2 jobs...sometimes I have to stack things up before I can go through them and figure out where they belong.

How do you keep your home clean? According to the counter I have on my blog, there are a lot of people reading it...so come out of the woodwork (even anonymously) and give me your ideas!!

What's Your Vice?

2009-02-28T14:06:00.000-08:00

We all have vices. Some are harmless, some not so much.

I've blogged before about my diet coke addiction! I definately cut back during my pregnancy, but I didn't cut it out completely. The same holds true right now while I'm breastfeeding. I haven't noticed much of an effect on LC when I drink a soda, so I've been indulging a bit.

However I was recently challenged by my friend Jewels to give it up, once again. Well, she blogged about the potential ill effects of diet soda, and called me out anonymously as a fellow addict--so I offered to give it up if she would. And she's taken me up on the offer! I always do better with this kind of thing with accountability, so I trust we'll be successful.

One of the things she commented on was that there is some research indicating that artificial sweeteners (which diet soda is loaded with) actually make you crave sugar. I must say, I do think its true. I'm hoping that if I give up Diet Coke, I'll crave less sweets! I am pretty sure this is in the You On a Diet book (which my friend here is reading, and I need to read again!)

On the occasions that I have wanted and tried to quit drinking Diet Coke, one of the difficulties was that Bean is an avid drinker as well! When we got married he was a Dr. Pepper addict, but he switched to Diet Coke in an effort to cut back on calories. BUT....a few days ago he decided to quit drinking it for a while too. We think he may have some reflux or digestive stuff going on, and soda definately aggrevates it.

So, what's your vice? Want to give it up with Jewels and I? We're starting Monday. Even if you read this after Monday, you can still pick a start date and join the fun!

And I'll tell you what's not fun...LC has been super colicky the last few nights. It took us almost 2 hours to settle her last night. Just when she would start to fall asleep, her little body would stiffen and she'd cry out in pain. Eventually we'd get her to burp or spit up and she'd be better. So I'm thinking it might be an issue with my diet. Miss Rose was sensitive to dairy, so maybe LC is too. I just bought a yummy pint of Ben and Jerry's last night and haven't tasted it yet. Looks like it's going to have to wait a few days while I cut dairy out of my diet and see if that helps LC. Life is just better with ice cream though!

LC is 4 Weeks Old!

2009-02-26T13:24:00.001-08:00

Can you believe how time flies? Sweet baby girl is already 4 weeks old.

My peanut was 7lbs, 8oz and 20 inches long at her appointment today. Interestingly enough, that was my exact size at birth...and the size Miss Rose was when we brought her home. (Gracie was never quite that small).

She's gained a little more than a pound and grown an inch...so that's perfect for a one-month old. She's just small because she was born a bit early and small at birth. I have no complaints though. Makes her easier to carry around and fun to cuddle. And her clothes will fit forever. We're finally wearing newborn sizes, but even those are still big on her.

Going to the dr. today I had Gracie with me and made a mental list of the different carrying/strolling arrangements I could use. Gracie is slow (when she wants to be) and so having her walk is not always easiest. I decided to put her in the umbrella stroller and carry LC in the sling.

Three different moms of newborns in the dr. office asked me about my sling. If you are mom to an infant and don't have a sling--I highly recommend one! Especially if you have other children. But even if you don't, it can be easier to put the baby in a sling for a quick trip into a store, rather than pull the infant seat out of the car or get out the stroller. I like a pouch sling (although I buy on ebay and saved 50%) but there are also adjustable ring slings and a variety of other babywearing devices.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday's mom photo shoot! I am no photographer and the pic's have some lighting issues--but the perfection was the baby, not the lighting!

Trial Run

2009-02-25T15:26:00.001-08:00

I return to work in a few weeks. I am blessed to work just 3 days in the office--which gives me two weekdays with my beautiful daughters. Bean leaves for work as the girls are waking up, so I'm pretty much on my own dressing everyone (including myself), breakfasting (including nursing the baby) and getting out of the house.

This week I decided to do a trial run of when my maternity leave is over. Our staff meetings are on Tuesdays, so I figured that was a good day to go into work. Gracie decided to wake up at 5:45am and subsequently wake Miss Rose up...but I made them stay in bed for a while.

We managed to get out of the house on time. And we were dressed. AND I even had some makeup on. Lately I've been enjoying that I can take Miss Rose to school in my jammies and slippers and showering when I get home. So it was quite a feat to get that all done BEFORE we left.

However...I did forget my cell phone in the mad scramble to get everyone and everything out of the house. And I ALMOST left the house completely open. As in the door and the security screen wide open. As I got in the van, I realized the security door was ajar...which meant I hadn't closed or locked anything. Thankfully I realized it before I left. I doubt I would have remembered that once I drove away.

We got Miss Rose to school at 8am, drove Gracie to my mom's house and made it to work with a few minutes to spare. WHOO HOO!

I was tired by the end of the day though. LC was a bit out of sorts being at work with me. She's used to napping in her swing and driving in the car a lot. It's probably a good idea to continue these trial runs to get her accustomed to being at work with mama and sleeping there.

Let me just say also, moms that work 40 hours a week and have 3 or more kids are INSANE! Doing this three days a week seems doable to me. I feel like I might have a nervous breakdown if I had to do it five days a week. You do what you have to do, and you make it work though.

Coming soon: some photos from my homemade photo shoot with LC! I'm not sold on calling her LC for this blog, but a nickname hasn't come to me yet. I use the other girls' middle names here...but we also use those names for them in real life. But for now, I guess that's what I'll call her.

The Color of My Children

2009-02-20T19:42:00.001-08:00

Do your children have a signature color? Or maybe they did as babies. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has chosen a theme color for her babies. I'm not sure why I did this, it just kind of happened.

When I found out I was expecting my first girl, I was very against getting everything PINK. Not that I had anything against it, I just didn't want our house to look like gallons of peptobismol had spilled out. But so much that's made for baby girls is pink, so it is hard to get away from. Probably the next most popular color, at least in merchandising, is lavendar. I thought this was a great alternative---so a lot of our accent items and clothing for Miss Rose was lavendar.

Here was one of my favorite outfits for her as a baby.

And with her Barefoot Dreams blanket, which she still sleeps with often and wanted to bring for her sharing day in Pre-K (I convinced her a toy would be a better choice!).

However, if you ask Miss Rose today what her favorite color is...she'll say black. My silly anti-girl. She'll grow out of it eventually I'm sure.

When I was searching for a "coming home outfit" for Gracie in the event she was a girl...I found a sweet outfit with blue flowers...and that became here color. Blue happens to be my favorite color as well. Her crib bedding had blue tulips on it.

Here's the hospital outfit (someone actually gave it to me in a larger size as well, so she had the look for months!).

And her 1st Birthday Dress

When I began to think about clothes for baby #3, I thought it would be fun to find something red if it was a girl since baby would be arriving around Valentine's Day. Because of LC's early arrival, I hadn't yet found that perfect outfit. But one of my good friends knew about my red idea and brought a dress for LC to the hospital that she had purchased for one of her girls who was born near V-Day also, but never used.

She also found a Carter's outfit set in red which included this.

I've since bought this blanket and this sling. And if money were no object, I'd buy this diaper bag! The same friend made me an awesome red heart patterned blanket--I will share pic's of that soon.

I may go overboard on the red thing. But heck, LC is probably my last baby, so I want to live it up!!

So, what colors are your kids?

And speaking of color, do you agree with me that LC seems to be quite a mix of the other girls? I think her coloring will be more like Miss Rose, but I see some of Gracie in her too. The other day Bean said--do you think the baby is still jaundiced? She seems yellow. I said no--she's just Mexican! Gracie is so fair that we got used to seeing a very light skinned baby. But I think LC favors Daddy in skin tone.

It's so fun to see them grow and develop just how God created them.