Photo Fun

How is it that going to the bank, Target, Jamba Juice and getting gas with 2 kids can be SO exhausting. We got home and I felt like I was done for the day. And the kids were SUPER good. However, interacting with Miss Rose requires so many words and that can be tiring. She wants to discuss everything, and then do it all over again.

Anyways...I wanted to share some recent photos of the kiddos.

My new favorite photo of Gracie. A friend took this last weekend. I am in LOVE with his camera.



Don't you think this could be a Ben & Jerry's ad??? Miss Rose is always sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth like that. So cute.



Of course Gracie wanted in on the ice cream action.



And again with the tongue!!


Have a happy weekend!

Do as I say, not as I do

We've all heard it. We've all said it--at least in jest. It was a joke in my family when my Dad did or said something that contradicted with Our rules. We were good sports about it and just accepted that there were perks to being an adult.

Miss Rose is coming up on 4 1/2 and recently I've found myself employing the "do as I say, not as I do" tactic. I haven't said those exact words of course, but the idea is there. I have a bit of mental pain over it, but I guess it's one of the parental rites of passage, such as being spit up on, pooped on and told "I don't like you anymore."

Part of my mental anguish is that I don't want to have this "hidden" life from my child. Nor do I want to set a ton of examples that I wouldn't want her to follow. When I make long lasting decisions, I think about the example it will set for my kids in the future. Sure I'm an adult and can do as I please, and she will be one day too---but I feel strongly about living a life my kids can be poud of.

I kind of feel bad telling Miss Rose--this is okay for mama but not for you. But, I am an adult and she is a child. There are reasons why things are okay for me, but not for her, right??

Here are some recent scenarios.

Drinking soda...this has been going on for probably a year already. We are soda drinkers. I wish we weren't--as it's a bad habit of putting chemicals, artificial sweeteners and sodium in our bodies--but obviously it doesn't bother us enough to stop. Well, it doesn't bother Bean at all! Just me. Miss Rose often asks for drinks of my soda and the majority of the time the answer is no. For special occasions or sometimes when eating out, she gets to drink sprite or sprite and lemonade. My parents were huge soda drinkers too--and we couldn't drink it until we were in high school. I remember a short time my dad decided to charge us a quarter for every soda we drank at home. There was a bowl of quarters in the refridgerator!

Two-piece bathing suit. Ah, this is a sticky one. It's a personal thing for me, that I really don't want my daughters in 2 piece bathing suits until they are much older. Maybe 33. I'm sure at some point in junior high or high school I'll give in, but for now--one pieces. I want them to see bathing suits as functional, not as a fashion item. Little girls in bikinis are super cute, don't get me wrong, but just not my girls. Miss Rose has asked recently for a bathing suit that just covers "this" (as she puts her hands over her chest). Nope. Sorry. Yes, mama will be wearing a 2-piece, but you won't.

Language. Words like stupid and hate are not good to use. Kids tend to use them in reference to other humans. I really try not to use those words around her. But sometimes I'll say something is stupid. And of course she always calls me on it. I do try to change my vocab. But, sometimes, the things I say are part of an adult conversation, and she tries to correct me--or other adults around. Not okay. So I've started telling her that there are certain things adults can say that kids can't--and regardless of what she thinks, correctly an adult is not an option for her.

I know there are more, and as my daughters grow, the list will grow also.

My desire is to set the best example for my children as I can. But sometimes, the example is one of learning boundaries and limitations. I can only hope that as Miss Rose and Gracie grow and mature, they will understand what was behind our rules. Not only is it my job to teach them to be good children, but also to be well-rounded adults. I hope when they are adults as they look at our lives, they will see just that.

Should life be fair?

When was it that there was a conceptual change between "life just isn't fair" and "let's make it as fair as we can" ?

Growing up in a family of 4 kids, there was not always equality. I'm sure it was next to impossible, but I don't remember it really being an issue for me. I do recall my parents telling us that "life isn't always fair." My siblings and I did not compare birthday presents or parties or Christmas gifts. And even if we did, it wouldn't have made a difference to my parents. We just learned to enjoy and appreciate what we had.

It seems today that equality is a huge deal, especially when it comes to kids. We have to spend the same $$ amount on Christmas or birthday gifts AND the number of gifts must be the same. It's not just the birthday kid recieving gifts, it's the siblings too--just so they don't feel left out. If a child is having a hard time with the lack of fairness in life, we console and coddle them until they are feeling better.

I prefer the school of hard knocks. I know, I'm kind of old school on this. Life just isn't fair and I don't feel the necessity to make it as fair as possible for my children. I do not feel a necessity to give them identical birthday parties each year. They may have unequal numbers of Christmas gifts. They are 3 years apart, so what makes the younger one happy may sometimes cost less than what we want to give the older one. And who knows--some years, it may be vice versa.

And I will not feel the need to explain myself about everything. Some things just are becuase I am the parent and I know best. Your brain isn't mature enough to comprehend the vast complexities of why I have made the decision I have. I will do my best to explain in words and ideas you understand, but beyond that--just deal with it.

If I began to recount the vast number of injustices I have had to deal with as an adult...it would equal the number of injustices we all face in our lives. Life really isn't fair. For a variety of reasons. I don't want to give my children a different picture.

What I do promise to my children is that I will love you unconditionally, with God's help I will always make decisions that are in your best interest. As you grow and mature, I will help you understand why we make the decisions we do so that you can learn to do the same in your life.

Life SHOULD be fair. But it isn't. I won't purposefully be unfair to my children, but I also won't cater to their every whim. Because I'm the parent..that's why!!

Getting to know you

My friend Amy tagged me, so here goes.

The Rules:


~The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.


~Each player answers the questions about themselves.


~At the end of the post, the player tags other people and posts their name, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog.


What was I doing 10 years ago?
In 1998, I was a Junior in college. I was an RA (one of my fav years in college), on the Prayer and Praise team and also the leadership team for HATB--our Spring Break Mexico outreach (Amy was the director that year I think).

Five Snacks I enjoy:


In a perfect, non weight-gaining world. . .
~Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
~Muffins/Homemade bread
~Starbucks drinks
~Cheez-its (love these too!)
~Dark Chocolate

In the real world. . .
~Apples/Bananas
~Nuts
~FiberOne Bars
~Popcorn
~Dark chocolate--just one piece really makes a difference!

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
~Pay off school loans
~Travel a few time a year doing missions work
~Buy a homes in San Diego (sooo expensive) for ourselves, our parents & siblings
~Invest for our children's educations and weddings
~Tithe and give more than 10%

Five jobs that I have had:
1. Busser/Hostess at Souplantation
2. Hostess at Marie Callender's
3. Customer service for home school catalog
4. Babysittere/nanny
5. pastor

Three of my habits:
1. Checking stuff online
2. Not putting stuff away
3. Putting my hair up, every day, by the end of the day

Five places I have lived:
1. Seattle, WA
2. Spokane, WA
3. San Diego, CA
4. San Marcos, CA
5. Costa Mes, CA
(that's it...all the places I have lived)

Sleepless Saturdays and Sundays

When do kids start to sleep in on the weekends?? No one ever told me when I was expecting, that young children are hardwired to operate opposite to what we think.

Saturday mornings...Bean hasn't been up early showering and leaving for work, the house has been peaceful and quiet. There should be nothing waking my kids up early.

But, let's see. This Saturday, about 6:26 a.m. I hear the first squeal. Then laughter. Mind you, most weekdays normal wake-up time is between 6:45 a.m. and 7 a.m. There were no early wake-ups this week. I go in and Gracie is standing in here crib bouncing and Miss Rose is laughing.

I gave it my best shot. Told Miss Rose it was too early and she needed to stay in bed (she wasn't happy about that, but she obeyed). Took Gracie and put her in the pack and play which is in our room. She layed there for about 2.8min. Then was up, looking at me and yelling. So I got her up and let her play in between Bean and I. Within about 5min she made a loud noise, which brought Miss Rose in our room...so by 6:45 a.m. we had kids climbing all over us.

It's hard to say who wakes who up. Whether it's the baby or my big girl waking first. What I do know is that my big girl knows her days pretty well and what they represent. She knows that Tuesdays and Thursdays are school days, Wednesday is Grammie day, Friday is mommy day---and most importantly Saturday is Daddy day. Meaning Daddy is home--and not working either job. That's her excitment.

During the week I suspect there are times she wakes early, but she knows if she gets up she has to get ready for the day and it's all that much sooner she has to leave home. So she stays in bed and sleeps more. But on the weekends....Daddy AND Mommy are home, so why not wake early and get even more time with them.

Really it's sweet. Although we'd enjoy a little more sleep, the excitment on their faces is hard to resist. And there's nothing that a little coffee can't cure!

Still though, at some point they'll make the turn right? They'll be teenagers who we'll be dragging out of bed at 11am. In the meantime, we'll enjoy their enthusiasm about the day with us.

Win!

A free Ergo Baby Carrier from Along for the Ride

I can't remember...oh wait, MARGINS

Why is it that throughout the day I think of a variety of things to post about...and when I sit down at the computer, my mind is empty? That's exactly what's happening right now. I even had a title in mind...but now...nothing! AH--I think I've got it. Margins.

We're doing a small group study right now on creating margins in your life. The main principle being that we (humanity) like to push everything to the limit and we don't leave any space for the unexpected--or we just get burnt out.

Wednesday it was on financial margins. Perfect since that morning Bean and I got word that our car repairs were going to run us $3000! We were stressing. We had decided to use our "economic stimulus" to stimulate Saturn, but that bill was almost 2x what we got. We are really working towards some financial goals--the the first being getting of credit card debt, and buying a home in the long run. We just finished paying off new tires for my vehicle and now this. It seems like just when you catch up---you fall behind again.

So, financial margins... the idea that there is space between your expenses and your income. Most of us pretty much spend whatever we make--even if it's going to the "right things," we spend it. Bean and I make a good deal more now then we did when we were first married. But now we have 2 children, need a larger home, pay for childcare etc. Like us, you probably say "if only we made more." I find myself thinking that a lot.

However...our discussion on Wednesday made this statement "it's not about income, it's about lifestyle." Andy Stanley says if don't have margin, it's not because you don't have enough income, it's because of the lifestyle you choose. So I started thinking about it.

We have a cable/phone/internet package. It's a "good deal" for the services we recieve, but it's a lifestyle choice to have digital cable, high defintion service, DVR (like Tivo) and high speed internet. (I know, I know. Please don't judge!) It's a lifestyle choice to eat out a few times a week. It's a lifestyle choice to buy a few cartons of ice cream a week or soda or favorite snack items. It's a lifestyle choice to have unlimited Blockbuster rentals.

We don't have a lot of margin in our finances. Perhaps a little bit, but not enough. When I get frusterated from now on, I'm going to remind myself--it's about lifestyle, not about income. We CAN make choices to increase our margin. Honestly, it's going to be a bit of a process I think. Bean and I need to talk about it. See what lifestsyle changes we can make to maximize the income God has blessed us with.